LIFE BEGINS WHEN?

If you were asked this question what would your answer be - "life begins at ___"?

I have read a lot of articles about celebrities who state that "life begins at 40" or "50 is the new 30" or topics like that. I know sometimes those articles are superficial, and just tackle the exterior beauty of those celebrities, how-to-stay-young tidbits, personal fountains of youth, beauty regimens, etc. My desire to know the answer to the question "life begins at (blank)" has a much deeper meaning. Well, for me that is.

I was thinking about this a few months back. I think I don't have a definite answer yet to this question. I could say that maybe, yes, my life started when I married Ruther because it was undeniably the happiest day of my life. But I feel I have yet to discover my purpose in life. Sometimes during quiet moments, I ask myself "Why did God put me in this world? What does he want me to do? What can I do to fulfill His will?" Sometimes, there are days when I absolutely have no clue, and sometimes, I have only the faintest indication. There was a time when I had to look back into my past, to reevaluate some of the choices I made and what I can do in the future. It has taken me several months of self-discovery, of building up my confidence that I COULD do this. Not many of you know this but I graduated with a Doctor of Dental Medicine degree. Yes, I am a stay-at-home, non-practicing dentist. Even when I was at the university and taking the course, I was still not sure if it was the course for me (although thankfully, I had good grades). After I graduated, I felt the same way. After I got married to Ruther, considering the nurturing nature that I have, I found fulfillment in taking care of my husband then my boys. Now, I want to know what I can do to help others outside my family. I have been mulling this over since last year (yes, LAST YEAR), and then I realized, I love being with kids. I came to the realization that I like reading and researching about understanding children and their behavior and psyche, how to bring them up the right way, articles on homeschooling, practically everything concerning toddlers and kids. Then it hit me. This might be what I should do with my life. To help kids grow, to teach them to reach their full potential. When I realized that, I felt my heart swell and I knew I had my answer. All self-doubt, all misgivings disappeared. I was very happy to know the answer at last.

So, what am I going to do about it? I am enrolling myself in a Child Psychology course this month. I am quite excited about it because it's not going to take my time away from Nikki and Ethan and our homeschooling activities. At the same time, I am also planning to further that by taking Caring for the Special Child, a diploma course at the University of the Philippines (where I graduated from). It's also a course that I could take in the comfort of home and will last only a few months. So, I'm going to be homeschooled too! =D

Ruther has been very supportive about this. He has been my strength when I had self-doubts during the past year. He was the one who urged me to follow what I wanted to do. When he asked me if I was still going to pursue my Dentistry course and I told him my heart was no longer in it, he told me to find out then what I desired to do and to do something that would make me happy. Because of his urging, I let myself dream and after several months of pondering and soul-searching, I now have the strength to start anew.

This is going to be a new adventure for me. I am starting from scratch once more but this time, I know this is what I really want.



P.S. Thank you baby. I love you...