Sunday, June 24, 2007

AAAARGH!!

When will this ever end?

A few hours ago, we were eating lunch. Nikki wanted to get water from the refrigerator but Ron, my brother-in-law was in the way. So Nikki said, "Tito Ron, I want some water please." And Ron said, "So, what do you say?" And Nikki said, "Excuse me, Tito Ron." AND THEN my mother-in-law said, "That is exactly why Nikki should go to school, so he will learn words like 'excuse me'." Uh, didn't he just say it? I reeeeeally felt so bad!! I just felt like I was belittled in front of the family. And again, Ruther was not here to defend me. =(

Now don't get me wrong. I love my mother-in-law. She is hardworking and diligent and very amiable. But we just have the wrong ideas in rearing kids. I prefer to teach my boys here at home. I KNOW I can give them the best education this way. She thinks that the best way for them to learn is at school. That's simply where the problem lies. So now, I tell Nikki, "The next time lola (grandma) asks you to go to school, just tell her that you are homeschooled." So there. At least this way, Mama won't feel insulted. She might feel slighted if I said it myself.

Sigh. I know I'm a sensitive person but for me, this is a sensitive issue. I CHOOSE to homeschool my boys not because I don't want them to go to school but because I know this is what's best for us now. So okay, maybe in the future the boys will want to try traditional schooling, that's perfectly fine by me. As long as I know that my boys are thriving and learning their own way, then I have no complaints. But for now, all I want is to be able to educate my boys MY way, the homeschooling way.
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6 comments:

mitch said...

Teka....hindi ako pwedeng hindi mag-react. Politeness and courtesy is something that can/should be learned at home. It doesn't look to me like your kids are wanting in that aspect. On the contrary pa nga, there are some things in schools that I would rather not have my kids exposed to. When Dallas was just starting school, bawal ang noontime TV sa bahay. Not that I am trying to be an elitist, but I wasn't too happy with the dancers who look like they have just suffered a shortage in material for costumes, not to mention their dance moves that I think should just be reserved for after prime time. Kung gusto nya manood ng TV, madaming Sesame Street videos to choose from. After her first week in school, she was singing some song I haven't heard before. Turns out it was that song by the Masculados. And I didn't even know who they were! She said one of her 'friends' was singing that, and it somehow stuck. Some of her other schoolmates would be singing and dancing to something Viva Hot Babes, and I must admit, most of the tunes are catchy which is probably why she picks it up. True that it may be only (somehow) indecent to one who interprets it as such, but it still pains me to see little girls looking not-so-innocent when they are dressed or acting like that.

I've digressed, ang haba na tuloy, but I'm sure you got my point.

Sunday, June 24, 2007 4:27:00 PM
:P said...

mio!! yes, i get your point talaga.

grabe, as in parang waaah! moment talaga ako kanina. parang alam mo yon, super napahiya ako kasi parang in a way (sa sinabi niya) i don't teach politeness and respect sa bahay. on the contrary, ang bait bait nga ni Nikki e. he does not fight other kids, he says please and thank you, he is courteous. nagbubulagbulagan lang ba si Mama?

alam mo yon, parang kanina, kulang na lang i'll pull my hair sa frustration. waaaah talaga!!

Sunday, June 24, 2007 4:41:00 PM
mitch said...

I don't know what to say.....I don't want to speak about your MIL, hindi ko naman kasi siya kilala, pero alam mo yun, even I find myself in such frustration when my own MIL gives contradicting comments about disciplining the kids. Ewan ko, maybe it's the perspective, maybe it's the need for competition, pero there is something na parang they choose what they want to see lang. My MIL would say before, dapat daw yung bata, sanayin umupo in front of the dining table, kahit bigyan ng toy para masanay. I do not believe in that, pero sila ang makulit. Nung nasanay na may toy, ako pa pinagsabihan, sinanay ko daw kasi. Pati nung si D maliit, she was finicky with food. Buti pa daw yung mga anak nya, bibigyan mo lang ng kutsara, kakain na mag-isa. Oh my God talaga! E, ako naman, I am not competing with anybody about methods of raising one's kids. To each his own, diba? Nakakabwisit lang na talagang embarrassing na parang wala kang ginagawa about it. Kaya lang, wala naman tayo sa position to really do something to protect ourselves. I agree with how you taught Nikki to say that. I would have done the same. Sabi ko nga palagi kay Jong, kung yang matanda, hindi mo na maturuan, e di yung bata ang turuan mo.

Monday, June 25, 2007 7:48:00 PM
:P said...

naku, agree talaga ako sa iyo. and i reeeeeally don't like it pa naman pag kinocompare ni Mama yung mga boys sa kahit kanino! sabi niya si Ron (youngest bro ni ruther) daw nung age 3 ba yon (nakalimutan ko na), nagmimilk na sa glass ba't daw si Nikki and Ethan sa bottle pa rin? e kung ayoko madeprive sila ng calcium? pihikan na nga e tatanggalin ko pa yung only source of nourishment nila? e what kind of mom am I na? tapos yung paghawak ni nikki ng pencil, mali daw. yung pagsulat ng number 5 mali din daw kasi si nikki writes it without taking the pencil off the paper, as in dire-diretso lang. e sa akin, basta tama na yung hitsura, okay na. kailangan pa ba pati yon ganun ka-strict? e kung ako nga ayoko i-pressure si Nikki sa mga nagligible things na yan, bakit pa niya pinagdidiinan? tapos si Ethan, bulol daw, bakit daw hindi pa nagsasalita nang maayos? at eto yung talaga ayaw na ayaw ko. pag medyo makilot si Ethan ang hirit niya (kahit na walang malisya) is "bastos" as in "ay, bastos". grabe! e ako nga, i'm reeeeally careful sa sinasabi ko sa mga bata tapos siya, she could easily let go of words like that. maarte na ako kung maarte but I want to expose Nikki to words like those later on in life na. words like "hoy", "stupid", "shut up" even "what, mommy?" i correct Nikki. i tell him, "say 'yes, mommy' it's more polite." tapos si mama "bastos" yung nadidinig ng mga bata. i'm reeeeally grateful that Nikki does not speak much Tagalog pa for him to understand. REEEALLY grateful.

haay mio... dati, suuuper affected talaga ako tapos nadedepress ako. but ngayon, i let it in one ear and out the next. bahala na sila. basta ako, i'll do my best not to be affected. focus ko na talaga ngayon sila Nikki. which is why nagdecide talaga ako mag-Child Psych course so that mas okay yung approach ko in dealing with the boys.

haay. ano pa ba ang pwede kong gawin? nakakaloka talaga!!

Monday, June 25, 2007 10:13:00 PM
Ehav Ever said...

Greetings. I think in some cases, even when it is your parents, you have to simply lay out the ground rules in a relationship. There are nice ways of simply telling a parent or in-law that as the parents you make the decisions for the children. Also, going to a school doesn't guarantee that they will act or learn in a proper way.

One way to look at it is that you are raising the children, not your in-law. So that being said you are the one who is really responsible for your children's education.

Sometimes finding a nice and calm place to talk and get your point across. Just some thoughts.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007 1:00:00 AM
:P said...

hello ehav!

thank you for sharing your views regarding this matter. you are right. i SHOULD lay down the ground rules. it's just that i really don't want to offend my mother-in-law and especially when my husband is not around to aid me. i don't want to be the evil daughter-in-law who disobeys everything the mother-in-law suggests. it's just that I am not stupid. i know how to raise my boys. and I am currently studying to know more about rearing my boys the best way. i just wish she would trust my methods instead of making comparisons. she could suggest and i would hear her out. but making outright complaints and comparisons really hurts me a lot because not only is she questioning my methods but it belittles me as a mother and as a woman.

thanks so much for your inputs. i really appreciate them. =D

take care!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007 1:17:00 AM

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