MORE THOUGHTS

Well, I've been researching about Sushi's condition on the internet and I think she either has mites or dandruff. I'm kind of worried about that. I decided to do a bit of first aid (based on one site) and applied some oil on the flaky skin around her left eyelid and both her paws. When I checked her underside, I was shocked to see a bald spot on the inner part of her left hind leg!! Now that worried me a lot more. I applied some oil to that area and hoped that that bald spot was caused by shedding (I didn't see any "flakes" there). I really hope it's not mites. If it is, I might have to bring her to the vet for treatment or go to the pet store where I bought her for some medication. I hope her flaky condition clears up soon. Poor Sushi. She looks like someone shaved her left brow with the shedding and flakiness.





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Here she is, after I applied a bit of oil around her eyelid. You could see her paws as well and how they are affected by the mites/dandruff. =(










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Ruther said he cannot afford to let me go back to Japan anymore. It's just not possible anymore at this time. That saddened me to no end. Although I promised him that I won't gripe about wanting to go back to that wonderful country anymore, I still can't push it out of my head. Every night, I see the photos we took while there and my heart aches. And before I sleep at night, I always think of the time when I will once again step onto Japanese soil. I figure, the only way for me to go back there is for someone to sponsor me or if I work for it. And since I don't know who is willing to do the first one for me, I think I'll have to do the latter one then. And I definitely don't and won't mind doing that if I'm going to see my Japan once more. Sigh.



It's so hard trying to push Japan out of my head and heart. If someone was going to ask me if it were possible to fall in love with a country, I would immediately say "yes!" and a resounding one at that. I just love Japan so much. Sure, it's not perfect, but what country is? I still don't know WHY I'm so in love with this country. I really have no idea. But really, after 6 months of staying there, I suppose it really attached itself to me so strongly and now, I can't stop thinking about it. Even my boys have somehow been influenced by me and are learning Japanese phrases everyday (which I find soooo cute!).

Really, I am feeling quite depressed that I won't be able to go back to Japan. Lately, I have been sleeping at 3am and I have (partially) been neglecting my studies. I just feel so bad about the whole thing. And I really can't push it out of my thoughts. It's Japan, Japan, Japan. I really really want to go back and see it once more. When I see a feature on the Discovery Channel about katanas and samurais, I feel my heart jump. When I read something about Japan in the paper, I devour it voraciously. That's how affected I've become. I think I'm even worse than someone addicted to something!! Sigh. I really really REALLY want to go back there again...

Now I think, I will have to work hard for that. I am planning to finish this course and perhaps work with kids who have special needs. That would be so great. And if all goes well and I will be able to save enough money, going to Japan will be the first thing I'll do. It will be sooo wonderful seeing it again. Just thinking about it makes me tingle in anticipation. Yes, that's something I'm really REALLY looking forward to.