UNEXPECTED

Ruther did something unexpected again.

While we were chatting on Skype tonight, we discussed an ad I saw in the paper about some appliances. It was a 4-page ad about cool deals from an appliance store. Since we previously talked about getting a new tv for our bedroom, I thought that he might be interested to check some of the prices out. (We considered letting the boys have the old tv but of course, their tv viewing will still be monitored.) Anyway, we were already kind of leaning toward the Samsung LCD. Not only is it cool-looking but it is reasonably priced compared to other brands. So, when I saw the ad in the paper and saw some Samsung tvs as part of their deals/discounts, I thought of discussing it more with Ruther and asking him if he really is interested to get one for our room. We had barely begun to talk about it when he cut me off with "Would you rather we put that on hold muna and you come to Japan instead?" Now THAT blew me away. I know how much Ruther loves his gadgets and high-tech stuff. And I know that as a stay-at-home wife and mom, I really feel guilty not giving in to Ruther's desires because he does work hard for those things. But Ruther is not very emotionally-driven like me. I know that going back to Japan would be like pulling a LOT of strings not to mention more budget-tightening but when he suggested that out of the blue, I was just caught off-guard. Of course I want to go back to Japan. I mean, I AM going back there sooner or later (I think it's more like "by hook or by crook") but these past months, I have already been conditioning myself not to hope that I will be going back anytime soon. There's just a lot to think about. But of course, deep in my heart, I miss Japan a lot. I miss it so much I think about it everyday. It's just become such a big part of me I can't get rid of it anymore. I'm not saying that I did not have some difficulty in Japan. Of course I had a hard time adjusting. It's like a whole new world there. But I still loved and love it. And I look forward to going back to that wonderful place.

I still don't know if Ruther said that as a joke or if he was serious. I also don't know if it could still happen. Thinking deeply about it, I am still hesitant. The practical side of me tells me to wait but my emotional side wants to fly away and step on Japan soil once more. I don't know. But who knows what surprises life has in store for me. I can only keep my fingers crossed.