Ruther is sick today so I went to church with my sis tonight (we usually attend the 6pm mass). When it was time to share "peace" with our neighbors, the couple behind me shared a sweet kiss before saying to each other "Peace be with you" and then turning to me and saying the same. (I dunno if it's the same in other places but here, we usually give our loved ones a kiss rather than just the greeting.) When I saw them kiss, I felt a pinch in my heart. Firstly, because Ruther was not with me tonight and secondly, because in two months, Ruther will once again leave the country and I wouldn't be able to share my peace with a kiss - with him. Yes, that made me pretty sad tonight. It's kind of hard having to go to mass without my husband beside me. It's hard to not hold his hand during the Lord's Prayer. It's hard not having to kiss him during the exchange of "peace". It's hard to have to pray for him all the time because I get SO scared about his safety 24/7. It's hard being apart from him, period.
I sometimes dread having to think about 2008. Because I know that in a short while, I will be separated from him again. I don't want to have to count how many more days we have left together. I just know it would depress me to no end. But I also know that I will miss him SO MUCH. For now, I'm just trying my best to think about Christmas and the New Year. After that, I know I'll just have to be stronger than ever because once he's gone, I just know I'll be a complete wreck. =(
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Awww, that made me want to cry for you, Yette. Being apart from your hubby so much would be very hard, but it sounds to me like you are making the most of every minute with him being there. Don't even give a thought to the day he will again depart, just enjoy the times you all have together. Those times we are apart from our loved ones are when the Lord teaches us trust Him.
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