OVERCAST

The weather outside looks so bleak and grey. It matches my emotions perfectly. I could sit in front of this window and stare outside all afternoon. I just feel so numb.

Ruther's departure feels a whole lot different this time. The last time we parted ways was when the boys and I came home from Japan last year (February) and he was left behind. I suppose all the new experiences in Japan were just so thrilling that our parting did not seem that painful.

Ruther has not been home in Manila for a long time. He did come home for 4 days in January last year (while we were in Japan) for work-related activities and although I missed him then, it did not make our parting difficult to handle because I knew that he would be back with me soon. Coming home and having him here for 3 months was just really special. We tried to make the most of our time together especially during the holidays and we did make a lot of wonderful memories. Which is why I think his departure this time is just affecting me a lot. As always, when I've reached my highest highs, I can sink to my lowest low as well. All those wonderful memories and experiences we have had together makes this (being apart) really really hard to accept and comprehend. Sigh... Do I even make sense?

I think the weather right now understands me. I think it empathizes with me and really, even if I read meanings in the strangest things, it still makes me feel a little better that I am not the only gloomy thing around here.

I am usually easy to please. As we say here, mababaw lang kaligayahan ko. When I receive a "hello" from Ruther through chat, my heart skips a beat. When I unexpectedly receive an SMS msg or he rings my phone, I do get excited. I'm happy to hear from my sweetie. And even if these things are so very little, they amount to something really huge. He loves me. And I love him. And maybe, just maybe, love really does conquer all. (With a little help from technology, of course.)