IT'S NOT EASY

I must admit, it's not easy homeschooling 2 boys with totally different personalities. I thought in the beginning that it was going to be quite easy because well, all we had to rely on were workbooks and textbooks but boy, was I ever more wrong. Homeschooling, as I later found out, is more than just books and academics. It's building character, making my boys enjoy learning and teaching them values. It's spending quality time with family and discovering new things and places together. It's appreciating the things around them, be it as simple as a leaf or as wondrous as a rainbow. What I thought at first was a nut, is in fact a huge tree! And then, just when I thought I had the hang of homeschooling, God drops onto my lap this really unique person (in the form of Ethan of course) that just literally wrecked my whole homeschooling plan.

Of course there are days when I ask myself, "What the heck am I thinking?" Of course there are times when I wonder "Will I be able to do this?" I get worried that we're doing too little. Then I get worried that we're doing too much. I get worried that Nikki might not be learning enough Math, or I get worried that Ethan will never be interested in worksheets. I get worried that the boys will one day question this choice I've made for them just as I've questioned some of my parents' decisions in the past. Yes, homeschooling is not all roses and yes there are days when I just want to spend one day not worrying about something.

But then, when Nikki comes to me all excited about a new song he played on his toy piano, or when Ethan shrieks in happiness about a bug he found, my spirits lift. When my boys learn from the other without any help from me whatsoever, my heart swells. When Nikki takes care of his brother and when Ethan listens (but rarely though) to his Kuya and obeys, I feel proud. When we walk to the park and we talk about the sky, the cloud formations, the fruit trees and the farm animals, I get inspired. And then I want to continue on this journey. I want to spend as much time as I can with my boys but at the same time, I want them to discover who they are without pressures and without labels. A recent news story about 3rd graders who wanted to hurt their teacher alarmed me somewhat. Although that happened many continents away, I realize how impressionable, vulnerable andmisguided some kids are these days (I said "some" okay?). I want my boys to have strong values so that when they go out into the world on their own, I am confident that they will not easily be swayed by the wrong things.

It's not easy being a 24/7 mom, but it's harder being a teacher to 2 totally different homeschoolers. But if the fruits of my labor are going to be all good, then by golly, I'm going to climb that tree until I reach the top.