HOPEFUL? OR HOPELESS?

Okay, I am really really worried now. Still no word about our visa. This is driving me nuts! I can't even remember it taking this long the last time we applied!! I am literally F R E A K I N G out. And no, I can't help it.

This is just so darn important to me that I can't stop thinking about it. I've been praying of course, but after my feelings towards my friend's situation (read Sad... But Happy post below) I just felt a bit undeserving of God's attention. Call me silly but that's the Catholic girl in me talking.

I've been staring at the mail slot these past days. Whenever we leave the house to go to the grocery or supermarket, I always hope to see that white postcard lying there, waiting for me. But so far, no white postcard. And it's tearing me up inside. It's October, for heaven's sake! Our visa expires in 2 weeks and I am just freaking out here!!!

Ruther tells me that there's this number I could call to ask about the status of our visa. He told me I could call by Friday because that would be 2 weeks since we applied. I of course, refused. He thought I wanted him to do it and he got a bit irritated at me because he had a lot of work to do at the office and didn't want this to add to his work. It's really not that I don't want to call. I just can't. I don't want to call and find out that we'll be going home in a few weeks. I just don't know how I'm going to take that. I think I would rather wait for the postcard with the slim hope that we are going to be with Ruther for 3 more months. I think it's better to be hopeful even if it's prolonging my torture for a few more days. Is that silly of me?

Sigh. I just hope with all my heart that that white postcard is on its way here. Nothing else could be more important to me now. So please help me pray for this. I know that my mom is helping with the prayers but a few helpful friends would be much appreciated.

(P.S. Becky, as always, thank you for being so sweet. You have always been there rain or shine and I know that you are praying for this. I want you to know that you are one special friend. God bless!)