BYE BYE LOVE

5:05am
I really, absolutely and definitely HATE goodbyes.

Ruther just left a few minutes ago. I realized, it really didn't matter if he was going to be away for 2 years, 7 months or 5 days. I still felt the same way every time: utterly miserable. I promised myself I wouldn't cry this time. Well, surprise. I cried three times. And that was only from 345 - 430am. As cheesy as it may be, it still feels like he's taking my heart with him everytime we're apart for more than a day. Some people say it takes some getting used to. But I disagree because after years of being in this situation, it still is very difficult, still depressing and still painful for me. I HATE us being apart. There is no other way of putting it I guess. I simply feel that I'm a better, happier person when he's around. I mean, this guy really makes my day. When we're apart, it's like living hell, like I'm in limbo, in suspended animation, on auto-pilot. The world is more beautiful, more wonderful when we're together. When we're apart, everything is muted and lackluster. I dunno. I just like it when we're not miles apart. I still hope for the day when we don't have to rely on this kind of set-up; him working overseas. Hopefully, God will grant us this request.

Sigh. Until he returns, I'll have the boys to distract me fortunately. He promises to call everyday (and every night) so that will be a big help as well. All I can do now is wait for 4 days for him to come back to me.

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5:18am
The boys were awake when Ruther got ready to leave. I suppose that was a good thing because I wanted them to say goodbye to him before he left. Ruther would have wanted us to bring him to the station but dressing the boys up would take too much time and it was very very cold outside this morning. So, in the end, he decided against it and just kissed the boys and reminded them not to give me a hard time (hmmm... far from happening, I believe). =D Nikki panicked at first because when I wore my jacket, he thought I was going with Ruther to Manila! He cried when he realized I was not in the apartment. I had to help Ruther bring the small stroller down the stairs while he carried the bigger luggage. Ruther worried a bit when I started bawling but I couldn't let him tarry any longer because he had to catch the 450 train. So, with my heart so heavy, I watched him go and when I got back to the apartment, Nikki met me at the door and scolded me for leaving him. He was actually crying and reprimanding me so I just told him I had to help Daddy with his bags. Since the boys are no longer sleepy, I let them watch Toy Story 2. Was hoping to distract myself by blogging but blogspot is undergoing maintenance this morning. Just my luck. Sigh...

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5:32am
I can already imagine myself a month from now when we'll be getting ready to leave for Manila. A week from our departure, I'll surely be a wreck. =( Hopefully, Ruther and I will be saying goodbye at the Terminal and not here at home. Well, I'm hoping he'll take us to the airport but of course, it'll be costly (bus and train fare). But if he could bring us to Yokohama City Air Terminal it would be fine with me as well. I just hate us being apart!! Sigh.

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5:35am
I really, absolutely and definitely HATE goodbyes.

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5:37am
This is Yette, going on auto-pilot in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

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8:47am
Ruther just called and informed me that he's at the waiting area, anticipating the boarding call that will happen in less than an hour. He hasn't eaten breakfast yet; he didn't have the appetite for it. =( Poor baby. Hopefully he'll get some nourishment on the plane and then some sleep as well. He didn't quite get enough zzz's on the limousine bus (from Yokohama to Narita). He said he'll inform me when he's about to board so I'm pretty much stuck in front of this computer (the phone is beside it) until he does. More later...

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9:15am
Okay, he called again and this time, he's in the plane. So, we had to say our goodbyes quickly because he had to turn off his cellphone and already, I miss him like hell... =( Hopefully his flight will have no delays and he'll be in Manila in no time. His younger brother will be picking him up at the airport so I don't have to worry about him getting a ride home. Good thing... One less worry for me.

And now, my day begins with loading the washing machine with laundry and then washing the baby bottles. =P

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3:49pm (Japan time)
2:49pm (Philippine time)
My sweetie just called. He was at the airport already and was just waiting for his luggage. After which he'll be going home to leave most of the stuff, ready his bag for the leadership seminar, then proceed to Laguna. He said he'll call again tonight. It's SOOOO great to hear his voice. I'm really relieved that he's safely home. Can't wait to talk to him again tonight...