SAY WHAT?

Here are some not-so-famous quotes. Laugh your hearts out. =D


I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. -Dave Edison

I can see clearly now the brain has gone. - Anonymous

Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram?" Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone. - Jan King

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Anonymous

Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning? -Official Court Records

I'm gonna live forever, or die trying. - Joseph Heller


Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
-Court Records

I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. - Anonymous

Lawyer: What happened then?
Witness: He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me!"
Lawyer: Did he kill you?
-Court Records

Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it. -G. K. Chesterton

Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
-Court Records