AT LAST - BUT NOT

Finally, the carpenter came today. I was really excited about it because I thought he would start making the closet and cabinets in Ruther's and my room. Initially, I asked Mama to help me find a carpenter I could hire so I could have the closets made and then I could start fixing up the room. I also wanted to have Russell's old cabinets repaired, repainted and hung in the boys' bedroom for additional storage. Anyway, all these thoughts and plans made me quite excited when the carpenter came today. Then, only to find out that Mama wanted to have the kitchen cabinets and shelves done first!! I was like - didn't I ask you to help me look for a carpenter for myself? I mean, so now I'm at the back of the line again? If you still don't understand my consternation, let me explain.

Last July 31, Mama allowed a bunch of workers to go home to the province after 7 months of work in the house. They wanted to go home because they thought that the construction was taking too long already. Mama agreed and also because she said she was already low on funds. But still wanting to finish the house little by little, she hired 5 people to try to finish the work that was left here which are: smoothening the walls, painting, cementing the garage floor, staining and varnishing of the wood mouldings, electricals, and a whole lot more. Anyway, when Mama hired these new batch of workers, I understood that the cabinets in my room will be done in the final stages (in other words, will be one of the really last things to be done here). I agreed because I know that making the house beautiful is definitely more important. But (and this is a big BUT) Papa and Russell have been asking me to start fixing Ruther's and my stuff in the house. Now I won't deny that Ruther and I have a lot of things but I just don't want to move things around temporarily. I might misplace some things or lose track of them or not know where they are later on. I would rather leave them where they are. But again, that cannot be because some of them are in the middle of the living room or family room and the rooms look messy indeed. So, the only resolution to this is finding the right place for Ruther's and my stuff. And how? By having the closets and cabinets made and letting me have access to the attic (a big enough space above our bedroom ceiling). And so, I asked Mama to help me find a carpenter so that I could finally fix our things and at the same time, make our room functional. She agreed. But today, my bubble burst. Now, I have to wait again until whatever she wants done gets done. This is really frustrating for me. I mean, I have never complained this whole time that my room never gets done, is always overlooked and is always rushed. The painting of the walls in our room was so horrible that it needs to be redone. I wholeheartedly agreed to postpone the further fixing up of Ruther's and my room but now that I am trying to get things moving, I feel like I was pushed aside. Never mind that I have been sleeping in the boys room since June. Never mind if my clothes are in the luggage still because I don't have a closet in the boy's room. Never mind that my things are mostly in boxes and not within reach. Never mind if we have some difficulty with our lessons because of the mess around us. So yes, I DO feel like I'm being stepped on and not only that, I feel once more that I am being taken for granted. It was after all, MY idea to hire that carpenter. It was MY plan to have the closets and the cabinets and shelves done in my room. I really feel hurt. Not only because I was not given importance, but because I feel once more that I am only an in-law in this house.