GONE AGAIN

Ruther just called me a few seconds ago. He told me he was boarding his plane already. And now, it's goodbye again.

I woke up this morning to the sweet realization that I was in the arms of my sweetie. Then it hit me that today he was leaving and it will be quite a long time before I'll be in his arms again and then my heart ached. We whispered sweet nothings, promises and never-ending love and exchanged bittersweet kisses until we had no choice but to prepare for the eventual drive to the airport. Every once in a while, I would breakdown and cry but I managed to collect myself in time. The drive to the airport was depressing. I just held on to Ruther and buried myself on his neck to inhale his scent, to fill my senses, to get whatever I could so I could keep him with me longer. I cried, of course. How can I not when there's this sharp, stabbing pain inside me? The day was sunny but I did not feel the warmth. The people outside were busy and hectic but I felt utterly empty. A bee could have stung me and I would not have felt a thing with my emotions slowly draining from me as we neared the departure area of the international airport. Again, we whispered reassurances, promises and love to each other. I cried even harder. Then I had to let him go. It was so painful I just cried and cried while hugging him so tightly in my arms. And then he was gone. On the way home, I just stared out the window looking at nothing. The day I feared has come and I'm just so terribly sad I could cry an ocean of tears.

I hate goodbyes. They never were my thing. Especially when it came to Ruther. I would always hate it. It doesn't matter of he's just going to work, or going out with friends, or walking to the nearby sari-sari store. I just don't want to be away from him for too long. He just makes everything in this world a whole lot better.

I miss him so much. We're going to talk soon. He promised me that when he arrives at Narita Airport he'll ring my phone so I could call him. I know that it won't make me miss him any less but hopefully, it will ease the pain if only for a little while.