GROWING BOYS

As a mother, I think it is always ingrained in my mind and heart that my boys are my babies. Even if they are officially preschoolers now at their ages, I still would like to think of them as my babies even if I don't treat them as so. So I suppose the only times I realize that they are growing and being less baby-like is when their clothes or shoes or hats no longer fit them. The other day, I realized that Nikki's toes were kind of sticking out of his sandals and Ethan's were getting a bit too tight and I had another oh-my-gosh-my-boys-are-growing-so-fast-and-are-no-longer-babies flashes. Yup, it kind of pinches my heart a bit because well, I want my boys to be my babies. It's really not like I can help it but you really want to spend as much time with them as you can and when you see these little growth spurts you feel like time is ticking away and you think, in a few years, my boys will be men. And yeah, I get scared. But not scared of letting them go but scared that I am not doing all that I can right now to ensure and make them ready for the future. I DO think and wonder about how they will be once they take on the world. I can only guide them but they will of course, have to make their own decisions in that respect. I only hope that when that time comes, they will know EXACTLY what they want and not be like me when I was deciding what I chose to take for college. I don't want them to settle for second best but neither do I want them to be one-dimensional. I want them to pursue what they truly want, to make mistakes, to get up and try again, to see the world in different views, to relish everyday and live it to the fullest. Yes, these are all my hopes and dreams for my boys. Hopefully, all my teaching will not go to waste. I would like to hope that my decision to homeschool will mold them into the kind of men that would make their families proud. Yes, all the best intentions for my boys. But those will come much later, I know. For now, I think it's time I each get them a new pair of sandals.