BRAT

As much as I love my brother-in-law, he is a spoiled brat and I really don't want my boys to copy his bratty ways. Yes, he has a positive side to him, but that's not why I'm venting here. I mean, I thought my own brother was a brat when we were growing up but I've changed my mind about that since he started working here in Manila and showed me otherwise.

Anyway, going back to my brother-in-law... Take for instance, a few minutes ago. I was cradling Ethan in my arms, comforting him because he had a toothache. Noticing that it was 6pm, I asked Nikki (who was closest to the window) to close the screen windows so that mosquitoes would not come into the room. He went near the window (there's a long cabinet in front of it) and reached for the window but the stand fan was in his way and he couldn't get to the left screen window. So he said, "Maybe Tito Ron could do it" and of course, as is his usual way, he simply ignored Nikki and continued to face the tv. Now, as a mother, I wouldn't mind teaching my boys to be diligent and industrious but when an older person just sits there without explaining his laziness or doesn't give a damn about teaching the boys proper values, that really irks me. I mean think about it, any of these things could have happened:

1. He could have closed the windows for Nikki.

2. If he was tired, he could have said so and reasoned with Nikki. "But Tito is tired from travelling and I know you could do it because you're a big boy."

3. I could have done it if Ethan were not on my lap and in pain.

Anyway, I simply told Nikki to do it himself because "Tito Ron doesn't want to do it". I would have gladly done it myself (I was considering putting Ethan on the bed already then closing the windows myself just to finish it) but Ethan was clinging to me and well it was an opportunity to teach Nikki not to be lazy and to learn to do as he's asked. After Ron left the room, I gave Nikki a talk on being more helpful and to not emulate the laziness of others. He felt bad (he cried a bit when we sat together) when I gave him the talk but I reassured him that he's a good boy and I just don't want him to forget to be helpful especially when I have a lot on my hands (in this case, Ethan). But I still felt bad about Ron ignoring Nikki's request. I mean, tired is tired, but even a kid deserves some explanation for ignoring his plea, right? How could you teach a kid proper values when you're just sitting there ignoring him?

And this has happened before. We were at the mall at a video store a month ago and Nikki was cranky and forcefully asked Ron to push the stroller so he could be with me (I was a few aisles away). Of course, he reprimanded Nikki. I would also have reprimanded my boy because firstly, his tone was not appropriate and he was getting too insistent. I know Nikki can be unreasonable at times but that's because of his OC attitude and I understand that. When we're shopping, Nikki doesn't want to be too far away from any of us because he says "we're a family and we should stick together". But did HE try to understand and then reason with his nephew? No. He simply reprimanded him with no explanations. He just told Nikki to stay put. He didn't even consider the fact the boys was sleepy (the reason for his crankines) and that it was only a few days after he was hospitalized. I got so irritated at his attitude and of course at the way he scolded Nikki that I snapped at my poor boy for being irritable. I felt so bad afterwards. I know that my anger should have been directed at Ron and not Nikki. I apologized to Nikki when we got home and I promised never to do that again.

I think that people - whether or not they are a parent - should be morally responsible especially when it comes to kids. But moreso for people who are related to those kids. I also think that people should learn to be selfless when it comes to the people they love because what is love when the first thing you think of is yourself? How else will kids learn? Certainly not by inaction and lack of understanding.