JULY

It's July. Can you believe the year is halfway over? I used to get so excited about such things but now, it's like everything's new again. Or rather, different. My perspective in life has changed since last year and sometimes I wonder about how things can change for one person in an instant. It's like one minute you're asleep and the next you're suddenly awake. And it's strange and so new and so... disturbing. It's hard actually.

July. Summer for some countries. July has always been a rainy month for me. It's always been like that, I guess. Maybe this month will be different, who knows? Life can be so unpredictable.

I hardly ever get a good night's rest these days. There's just too much in my mind I suppose for my poor brain to shut down for a moment's peace. I suppose that's really my fault but it's not like I can help it. From the time I slept til the time I got out of bed, I woke up at 6 different times. SIX. I'm a light sleeper but I know that's not normal.

This is the only year I guess where I did not make any resolution. I usually have a plan or two (or four) once January sets in, sort of a reminder of what to do/expect for the coming year but this year, I didn't even bother. It's just a whole lot of different this year I guess. Yup. A whole lot of different.

The year is halfway over. And I can't even tell if the first half was all right. I guess I was in limbo most of the time to notice. Maybe one of these days I'll snap out of this weird funk. Who knows? Maybe the 2nd half of this year will be good, maybe it won't. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. After all, what else can I do, right?