I WANT A GIRL

I know that sounds selfish. And so un-Catholic. I'm half expecting lightning to hit me anytime soon.

But I do want a girl. I would love to have a girl in the family. Especially for Ruther. I'm sure he would love to watch her grow and see all the differences raising a girl is from raising boys. Besides, I'm sure I could balance being a mom to both genders, you know? And also, I never had that pregnancy glow that everyone talks about. When I had Nikki and Ethan I looked like I had a terrible allergy attack. My face was all swollen, my neck turned black and I looked like a monster. I'm not kidding. I still can't look at my photos then! I was really hideous! I hope that this time, I could be glowing and pretty and not (too) fat. Sigh. Is that so selfish of me?

It would be great to have a girl. Aside from Nikki's wish would be granted ("I want a sister because I already have a brother"), it would be nice to see him and Ethan interact with a female sibling. I'm also thinking this would be the last time I'm getting pregnant because it would just be too difficult for me to have another later on in life. So I'm really really really hoping that we're going to have a girl this time around.

If the Lord would be so kind, of course.

.....

Now that I'm pregnant I feel that everytime I'm out of the house I'm on Mom alert. I always cover my nose so I won't inhale fumes from vehicles and smoke from cigarettes. I used to be careful not to show my displeasure at fumes and smoke but now that I know a baby is growing inside me, I don't even have to think twice. It's so weird. Well, maybe not so weird.

I also noticed that I'm always hungry these days. And it's bothering me a lot because I don't want to get too fat (it happened when I was pregnant with Ethan). I try to moderate my eating but after a couple of hours or so, I get hungry again. Ruther teased me that maybe I'm carrying twins. Well, I hope NOT! I'm currently 150 pounds heavy and based on my reading, I want my weight to increase g r a d u a l l y. Hopefully, watching what I eat will do the trick.

.....

I started reading What to Expect When You Are Expecting again. I read the book once before when I was pregnant with Nikki and when I had Ethan I thought, "I still remember pretty much a lot of it" so I shelved the book. This time, after 6 years, I have to read it again just to remind myself of some of the important prenatal details. It's amazing reading all the text I highlighted then. (I know, I'm weird like that.) It was like looking at myself through a time portal.

Anyway, still got to read a lot but I've got 8 months so I guess that's not going to be a problem.