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Today I spoke with a fellow homeschooling mom. It wasn't a planned meeting. We just happened to see each other in Powerbooks and started chatting. We of course, ended up talking about homeschooling, which is really how we met in the first place so no surprise there. I asked her about her second son, who is autistic like Ethan. I asked how she homeschools him and asked for some tips in dealing with Ethan when it's lesson time. We talked about our reasons in homeschooling our kids, our fears, our goals and all that. Yes, we chatted up a storm beside the pile of discounted books while people came and went. After what felt like hours but which was maybe 30 minutes of chatting, she had to leave and with her departure, I felt really light. For the first time in months, I know what I want for my boys. I want to homeschool them. I don't care anymore what people say, what they want my boys to do, where they want to be. All I know is that I want to homeschool my boys for as long as we can. I know that what I teach my boys at home is far more important than what they could learn in school. I know, still, after years of homeschooling, that I can provide the best education for my boys because I know them very well.

I expressed my thoughts (although not all of them) to Ruther and I was relieved that he didn't say no or that he wasn't open to the idea of homeschooling. He simply said, he wants Nikki to be learning the lessons that's fit for his age. In other words, he should be learning the lessons meant for his actual grade level based on his age. And I agree. So, I guess, no more dilly-dallying. If I want to make this work, REALLY work, we have to step it up. I'm planning on enrolling the boys in a homeschool curriculum. Hopefully my friend could help me. I want to do this for the next school year. Nikki will most probably be in a Grade 4 level but we'll see. Ethan will be in Grade 1 and I'm not worried because I don't want to push him too much and make him resent learning.

I'm so relieved I have finally come to terms with what I want for my boys. It's not easy (AT ALL) deciding to homeschool but as what another mom told me, "It's in us, the homeschooling lifestyle". I guess, it's in our family too...