Our New Year photo

This is only one of the many photos we took during New Year's Eve. I love our tradition. It's a LOT of fun! Happy New Year to all!

NEW YEAR

Yes, I know. I haven't blogged for ages. Again. Sorry about that. The problem with being an emotional (and busy) person I suppose is that when you don't feel like blogging or if you're feeling depressed or under the weather (or busy), you can't force yourself to blog. At all. I'm just strangely weird like that. I know some people manage to detach themselves from their emotions, inner turmoil, angst, (call it whatever you like), and just blog away about one of the millions of things in their lives but well, I can't. Again, that's who I am, strange as it may sound. But I still want to apologize to all my friends who thought I - once more- disappeared from the face of the Earth. Sorry for the silence. The New Year just brought all sorts of new busy-ness.

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Anyway, we're going home. We're leaving Japan tomorrow. Can you believe it? I can't. And I sure as hell want to stay here. Not because I don't want to go back home to the Philippines but because I don't want my family to be apart again. I know, I know. Same sad story. Boohoo. But well, it's the truth. Tomorrow, we'll be back in Manila and I'll be terribly sad to leave this country and I wish my visa had no expiration date at all. I suppose the only good thing about going home is that Ruther will be coming home with us. I guess I have to see that as the silver lining here. Ruther did say that we'll be applying for dependent's visa for us the next time we try to come back to Japan and I sure hope that that's gonna happen because I really really want to come back here and stay for more than just 6 months. Plus, I want to work too, so I hope and pray that everything will work out for us this year when we apply. For now, I guess we just have to stay positive, do our best and pray pray pray.

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I don't want to do the whole resolutions stuff this year, which is surprising for me. A lot of things happened in 2008 which affected me (good and bad) that my eyes were opened to a bigger picture (it's like waking up for the first time) and I know I just have to focus my energies in doing what I do best: being a good mom, wife and teacher to my homeschooling kids. If I accomplish (and maintain) that by the end of the year, then I know that my 2009 will be a successful year.

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Facing 2009 is counting a lot of fears in my heart. I want to be hopeful but I don't want to be disappointed again. I want to hold on to that promise but at the same time, I am just scared of being hurt again. I know, I am once more speaking in riddles but well, I'm not one to air personal things in cyberspace, ya know. Again, just not me. I just hope with all my heart that the pain I feel in my heart will ease up, the disappointment fades a bit and I could once more look at the sun and not be blinded by it. I just hope that 2009 will be a fun, happy, loving year for me.

Is that too much to ask, you think? Well, I sincerely hope not.