Lessons Proceeding Nicely

It's the first week of my 5-week course and I find myself enjoying it.  My professor (as I like to call him) is jovial and sometimes makes me laugh with his ad libs during lectures.  The readings are a bit tedious but necessary and I understand they are important to make me understand the lessons even more.  It's only the first week and I've already learned so much from the lessons. I hope to be able to remember them for future use. I am already quite excited about putting up my own business. :)

.....

We have decided to homeschool all the boys next school year.  I am not happy with Nikki's current progress, especially in English.  Sure, he's learning a lot from Filipino subjects and being with his classmates help a lot, but he's hardly doing arts now, or music, or even learning computer, which is supposed to be a part of their curriculum!  I just find it so lacking.  They don't even have clubs for the kids.  I think only the high schoolers are active in clubs.  It's just annoying that they do not give importance to extra-curricular activities.  Anyway, I know that the road we are headed is challenging but for my boys to grow up well-rounded and world-smart, then I know that we should - and can - do this.

Starting to Panic

Yes.

I am finally - and regretfully - at that time when I can no longer say, "to heck with the world, I've got all the time".  No, not this time and I know, turning 37 (gasp!) this year means I have to be more serious about my goals, about life, about how I want my future to be.

I suppose, like all stages in life, acceptance is the first step.  And yes, I accept that I AM getting older.  But what can I do about it?  I can't turn back the clock.  I can't ponder on every mistake I made in the past.  I can't dwell on regret.  I can't very well obsess about every little thing.  I need to focus, to be more positive, to be more organized (believe me, those brain cells are starting to fail me more often than not) and to simply enjoy life.

Now that I feel like the clock is ticking (a little too fast), let me check all the things I've already accomplished so far in my life:

1. Get married.  I know this isn't in everyone's bucket list but I always knew in my heart that I would be a wife.  Dunno how I knew, but I did.  Weird huh.

2. Have a family.  Another thing I knew too was that I was meant to be a mom. I have this nurturing spirit which I think would have been frustrating for me if I didn't have kids.  My boys keep me on my toes.  And I love being challenged as a parent, an educator and a mentor.  Some people tell me that it's just too bad I don't have a daughter but you know, in all honesty, I am quite content with my boys.  They complete me and that's all I need.  Besides, I have a niece I think having a baby girl is covered.  :)

3. Travel.  I've always wanted to travel.  I think my temperament is good for travelling since I have the open-mindedness and patience to understand local and foreign cultures.  I just think that travelling is an education all on its own.  And it's simply amazing.  This one, I have not accomplished fully yet, since I plan to travel years from now.

4. Get an education.  Yeah, did that... moving on...

That's it.  Pretty poor list, isn't it?  Especially since the career section is non-existent. But I'm not an ambitious person.  I mean, I have dreams but I'm not the be-a-world-changer kind of person.  As long as I do my part well in my little corner as a mother, wife, daughter and friend, then I know I did and am doing good.

I've already checked a lot of other things in my bucket list but I think I have to be more serious this year in accomplishing more of them.  Hopefully, I will be able to do them all before my inevitable time runs out.

On My Way

Today I decided to take a course that will help me in my intention of having a business later on.  The title of the course is: Grow to Greatness: Smart Growth for Private Businesses. This course is given by the University of Virginia.  I know it's not exactly a how-to-start-your-own-business course but I figured, any business advice would be a huge help for me.  Plus, the course is free so I can't (or shouldn't) complain, right?

The course starts January 28 and I'm pretty excited.  I'm planning to read the required and optional readings once Ruther prints them out for me.  Hopefully this week. I want to take the Introduction to Finance course as well but I'm a bit intimidated by needing to have some background in accounting, statistics and economics.  But we shall see. I need all the help I can get and some financial education will be awesome.

Yes, we shall see.  For the meantime... I'm excited. Very excited.

Resolutions vs. Goals

Why do people make resolutions at the beginning of the year anyway?  More likely than not, they don't live up to them at the end of the year.  So, why bother?

I gave up making resolutions when I was in college.  I just got frustrated when, by December, I could not even remember what resolutions I made at the beginning of the year!! So I'm letting go of it. BUT, that doesn't mean I'll simply live without something motivating me in a way.  After all, everyone needs something that will keep them on the right track, right?

So this year, instead of resolutions, I am setting some goals.  Achievable goals. Here they are (well some of them anyway):

1. Read more books.  I need to read more about parenting, homeschooling, ASD, finance and education.  I want to be able to learn a lot from the books I read so I guess I'll need to visit Booksale real soon.

2. Learn to drive - again.  I actually took driving lessons but that was years ago. When I was still in college! And I never got to drive in Manila because 1.) we didn't have a vehicle then that I could use; 2.) by the time we had a vehicle, I lost my confidence in driving, and 3.) the current vehicle we have is my in-laws' and I don't want to damage it with my beginner driving!  But realizing that I am getting old, I know now that I cannot wait for the perfect time because there won't be.  I have to learn and I have to learn this year.  Plus, getting my driver's license will be another thing I could cross out in my bucket list. :D

3. Watch less tv and more music.  Sometimes, when the room is too quiet, I turn on the tv just to fill-in the silence.  I don't want to do that this year.  I want to listen to more music and less nonsense shows.  We already have a lot of tv shows on our plate, I don't want to have to add meaningless shows to it.

4. Eat healthy, be healthy.  I get so scared when I think that I'm going to be a diabetic everytime I put a sweet into my mouth (I blame family history).  But I know that many factors contribute to diabetes so I tell myself now that I should exercise, eat healthy and always have regular check-ups.  Hopefully, being conscious about these things will help me lose some weight as well.

5. Start a business; any business.  Looking at our finances, it's worrisome seeing our debt (and at the beginning of the year!!).  So, I'm thinking of ways on how to increase our finances and that would most probably be through business.  My initial plan is to have a garage sale (we have a LOT of stuff here at home) and use the money from the sales, to come up with a small business that can be managed from the home.  I was thinking of having an e-load business (which is very popular in the Philippines) and that's manageable when I homeschool the boys next school year.  I also plan to sell ice for P3/ice bag.  Since my brother-in-law purchased a bigger ref, we now have a bigger freezer space so storing ice is not going to be a problem. Another thing I plan to do is advertise as an English tutor.  Who knows, someone may need my services, right?  Hopefully, with all the money I could earn, borrow or loan, we could have our own bike store, which I learned from a family business, is very lucrative.  So there you go.  Wish me lots of luck.

6. Continue blogging.  Considering the schedule I have for the year, this will be very challenging but hopefully, I will be able to find the time to drop a line or two still.

Other goals related to my boys and homeschooling are in my other blog. :D  Will get back to you at the end of the year regarding the accomplishment/failure of the above goals.

Hello September

Lessons with Ethan are coming along nicely.  We're going a bit slower than expected but then again, you can't rush learning, especially with a boy like him.  As always, I don't want him to feel that learning is a chore so I try to be as patient as I can with teaching him and so far, he's doing fine.  We're kind of slow in Filipino but I suppose, that's to be expected since he rarely or hardly ever speaks Filipino. But we're getting by and I guess, as long as we keep at it, he'll pretty soon learn his Filipino lessons.  With Ethan, our "one lesson at a time" motto surely fits him to a T.

.....

Now that August is over and all the craziness with it gone, I can now focus on other things like (of course), homeschooling Ethan, Enzo's birthday (which is coming up in a few weeks!!), and preparing Nikki's pinata for his birthday.  I think I have to start making my Christmas list as well since it's always easier for me to make purchases with a list on hand.  Besides, I love it when I discover a wonderful present for someone and it's the perfect present for him/her.  Yup.  Christmas list has to be on my to-do list this month.

.....

We're not celebrating Enzo's birthday this year.  We're just, as usual, going to have a small family gathering here at home and take photos and blow candles and open presents.  We might go out on the weekend for more birthday fun but i'll have to check the best place to go for our family outing. 

We'll see... :)

AWAY FROM HOME

Ruther is in Bohol right now.  He's with his officemates because they have a company outing.  I'm sure he's having a great time there.  I've been to Bohol before with him, Nikki and Ethan and it was fun.  We got to see a lot of things and we enjoyed our stay and of course, our bonding time as a family.  I'm sure this time it will be a different experience for him, since he'll be with friends.

I would have loved to see the beach again but my doctor forbade me from any swimming activities for at least a month after my LASIK.  So I guess beach-going is out of the question right now.  We're hoping though, to be able to go to Puerto Galera for my birthday but until I get the okay from my doctor, we'll have to postpone it.  My next appointment will be around July 2nd so we're keeping our fingers crossed.  I'm quite excited to see the fish underwater though. It's hard to see clearly when all the fish you see are the ones that are a foot from your face.  :P  I know it will be an additional expense for us to hire a banca (outrigger boat) for the snorkeling activity but I SO want to do it now that my eyes are all okay. So I suppose that means, I have to come up with the money for that expense. :P  But really, who cares as long I see the fish while I feed them!!  I'm SO excited!

.....

Ethan celebrated his birthday last Tuesday.  He's now 9 years old.  I can't believe it.  Sometimes, I still think of him as my baby.  Maybe if we didn't have Enzo we'd be babying him all the time so I suppose it's okay that Enzo came after him. :D  Anyway, we just had a simple party. Since Ethan is not very particular about having people over, we just had a quiet, simple celebration at home with cake, photos, fried chicken and spaghetti. Of course, there is always the presents.  

I know some families really go out of their way to have parties and such, but our family is not like that.  It’s not that we dislike parties but that we’d rather spend the day together in family celebration.  We would have loved to bring Ethan somewhere, a place he’d enjoy but Ruther had work today so we’ll just put if off for another day.

I can’t believe Ethan is 9.  My boys are growing so fast. It feels like they are slipping away from me and I can’t stop it.  I know that letting them go is inevitable, so I just want to arm them with life skills so they will be good and ready for whatever comes their way. 

I cannot imagine life without my boys.  Ethan is a pretty special kid and I see it everyday.  I admit, not many people understand him, but I do and as long as he’s happy, healthy and learning, I’m happy. 

I love you Ethan! Happy Birthday!

12 YEARS

Yesterday, Ruther and I celebrated our 12th year anniversary.  Wow. I still can't believe we've been together that long.

It hasn't been easy. We've had our ups and downs.  But what marriage hasn't, right?  There were times when I felt like there was no hope, like it was never going to get better.  There were times when I just wanted to give up.  But because we didn't give up, because we still fought for each other, we're here now.    And I'm glad for that.

Ruther and I aren't perfect people.  We have our flaws and we have our temperaments.  But I think it's because we know each other so well that we could adjust to our craziness. We could read the other and tell when to shut up, when to give advise, when to just let the little misunderstandings go.  I always say, "Pick your battles" and it really works, whether it's with the boys, or Ruther.  You just have to focus your time and energy on the things that matter the most and just let go of the less important ones.  It's still not easy for Ruther sometimes because he's such a control freak but he's learning.  After all, he's not getting any younger.  Who wants to suffer a heart attack from a minor thing like picking up toys?

Twelve years is no joke.  But if it means spending time with this man I call my husband, then I'm sure the years will simply fly by.  We may have crazy fights, but I know he loves me and I think that's all that matters.

ENDED BEFORE IT BEGAN

I didn't even get to the interview and I already knew I wasn't going to get the job.  Turns out, they didn't have an opening for the clinic near home.  They had vacancies for 3 other clinics which were far away!  Sheesh!  Talk about false advertisement.  So anyway, to cut the long story short, I graciously let them know that I will not be applying for the job after all since I would only be considering clinics near home.  They did say they were going to keep my resume should a position open for the clinic near our house.  That was mighty nice of them. :D

.....

My dad and brother are coming home from Canada on the 15th.  I'm feeling sad that they'll be staying for only a short time there especially since my sister will miss them a lot.  I only hope that they will be returning to Canada soon.  My mom will be staying behind and will remain there probably until August.  So that will keep my sister busy. :D

I wish we could go see Canada.  If I want that to happen, that means I have to get myself a job!!!

SOMETHING EXCITING

Yes, and it's happening this Friday.

I have an interview for a job! Isn't that amazing?  Okay, I can hear you ask, "When did THAT happen?" Well, last Sunday, I bought a newspaper.  I got it not to job hunt, but just to read what's happening in the world today.  When I reached the classifieds section, I thought,"what the heck".  So I browsed through it. And then, I happened to see an ad which piqued my interest.  It caught my eye because 1. it's right for me because it's related to my course and 2. it's very near home.  So anyway, I saw a cell phone number in the ad and decided to give it a shot.  I asked if the position was still available and I received a reply asking me to send my resume via email.  It did, the next day and to my surprise, promptly got a request for an interview this Friday!  So now, I'm biting my nails.  Will I take it?  Will they like me?  Will it be good enough?  I'm just a nervous, excited wreck.

Of course, the idea that I'd be away from the boys for longer than 5 hours (when I did part-time work before) scares the crap out of me, especially since I breastfeed Enzo and since I decided to homeschool Ethan (with a homeschool provider).  But, the idea that the job is so close to home and that I have the option of having them come to me when they need me or when I need them is appealing.  Also, the fact that I'll be doing what I studied all these years in college is making me excited.  I mean, should we decide to migrate, my experience in this field will be a great boost.  So I hope I hope I hope the job will be okay - salary-wise and schedule-wise.

I'm sure I'll be able to find ways (and time) in homeschooling the boys. I'm not saying it's going to be easy.  All I'm saying is we'll find a way.  Here are some scenarios:

1.  If everything goes well and I get the job, I'll consider enrolling Ethan with a SPED class to reinforce his learning.  We have a school which is a couple of streets away from home which offers SPED classes for walk-in student.   Just have to find out their rates, though.  I hope it's affordable.

2. I'll have to homeschool Nikki during weekends (if I'm free then) or when I have my day/s off.  I sincerely hope I have 2 days free every week because I just know it will be cutting into our family bonding time and I would just miss them a lot.

3.  We'll have to continue with Ethan's therapy every week just so he'd have a familiarity with a teacher.

4. I'll simply use my free time at work to research learning tools and lessons for the boys.

My main concern regarding work is my time away from the boys of course.  Not only will it separate us for longer hours but I'm concerned about missing out on their important activities like when Nikki has programs in school or Enzo's firsts.  I'm sure it will hurt not to be there, but I'm sure they know that I'm doing this for them.

I know that these are all hypothetical because I don't know if I'll be getting the job but it helps to know that I have a plan should it happen.  I also know I have to ready myself and be strong should the time come when I'll be away from them for hours a day.  It's sad but we need the money.  And that's life.

SEEING IS...

I cannot believe I can see! Without glasses on!  It's just amazing.

I'm not a vain person.  When I needed to wear glasses, I didn't mind.  When it only became a hindrance to my everyday life did it require me to wear contacts.  But because of dryness and inconvenience, I stopped wearing contacts altogether and just wore glasses.  Until now.

I never thought that waking up and seeing everything without having to reach for your glasses was possible.  I mean, sure, I could always opt for corrective surgery, but with 3 boys, a single-income and looming bills, that was never in my book.  Until my parents offered to pay for my LASIK, I never even thought that one day, I would have 20/20 vision.

I has not sunk in yet.  I mean, I still have to wear my protective glasses (for the first week after surgery) so it still feels like I have my prescription glasses on.  I really notice the change when I wake up in the morning because it's just so... NEW.  I mean, usually when the alarm rings, I have to grope for the alarm clock to turn it off, then reach for my glasses so I could get up and prepare Ruther's baon.  But now, I just have to turn off the alarm, get up and go.  When I bathe, I don't need to wear my glasses in the shower just to make sure I shave my legs properly.  I can do that now because I can see.

I'm really looking forward to being able to wear eye make-up (can't do that now yet) because when I wore glasses, I always thought eye make-up was useless.  Why would I wear eye make-up when my glasses covered my eyes?  Now that I'm no longer wearing glasses, I could wear sunglasses.  At last!  I had glasses made before that had tint on them but they weren't too fashionable so I didn't use them all the time.  I'm also looking forward to snorkeling.  It would be so wonderful to finally be able to wear snorkeling gear and see below the water without having to squint and see fish that are up to my nose only.

It's really exciting.  I'm slowing starting to believe that yes, my vision has been restored and that I'm rid of my glasses.  It's just amazing.  I feel like I've been reborn.

Truly.

I CAN SEE

My husband and I went to the eye center yesterday to have my initial screening, just to gauge if I was a good candiate for the LASIK promo my parents got for me.  Anyway, we arrived early for my 1pm appointment.  Enzo was a handful so while they were doing my initial screening and refraction, Ruther and Enzo got a bite to eat. When I was done, the doctor had to review my results and I was so sad to find out that I was not qualified for the traditional LASIK procedure which the promo covered. They said my corneas were "too steep".  They did offer me the more advanced LASIK treatment but I got nervous because it was like P33,000 more (with discount!) and I was so worried because this was not in our plans!   I mean, with tuition fees coming up and other expenses, I was thinking, the P33,000 could go so far!  So I was so undecided.  Ruther wanted me to have the surgery, bless him.  He's always been supportive.  But of course, it was HIS money we were spending so I was so unsure.  Finally, we agreed that we were going to push through with the surgery IF we sell some of our stuff at home to help pay for the unexpected expense.  After we agreed that, I was able to breathe deeply and told the receptionist I was going to have the surgery.

Since I could have it the same day, I was told to eat first.  After that, I was given the pre-surgery instructions, then at a quarter to 5, I was brought into the waiting/recovery room.  I was given a headcap and lab gown and I changed into slippers.  I was given 3 medicines in my eyes (anesthetic, antibiotic and another one I forgot).  After waiting a few more minutes, the doctor was ready.  I went into the excision room.  That's where the flap is made. The doctor was very competent and his hands were very dextrous and light.  It took 31 seconds each eye to make the flap.  I concentrated so hard not to move my eyes I think I was almost meditating.  Anyway, after the flap, I was led into the room where the laser was.  Again, I had to concentrate on not moving my eyes.  When I smelled like burning flesh, I held my breath because I did not want to be scared of it.  The laser treatment took around 20 seconds each eye.  When the doctor OK'd the procedure, the nurses congratulated me, which was so funny.  I felt like I just had a baby.

Anyway, I went back to the waiting/recovery room and was given my protective goggles, my kit with my meds, and the post-op instructions.  I rested for a few minutes then the doctor came into the room for my final check.  He said it "looked great" so I could go home.  By then, it was past 6pm already.  My eyes felt heavy so I just kept them closed as much as I could.

Today when I woke up, I could see a lot more clearly.  It hasn't sunk in yet but I'm sure once the protective glasses are gone, it would feel like I really really am not wearing prescription glasses anymore.  I'm due for my first check-up today. Hopefully, everything is okay. :)

YOUNG CHEFS

So yesterday was the third and last day of the Young Chefs Cooking Camp.  They made chicken and eggplant nuggets (which tasted yummy!) and buffalo chicken tenders.  Nikki had a lot of fun and even won in the raffle at the end of the session! Since they got certificates, I’m planning on putting them in his portfolio.  Hopefully I’ll be able to make a comprehensive one for him.

…..

We got our flu shots the other day.  At least that one’s over.  Enzo was a bit fussy and Nikki tried his best to be brave (since we’ve already studied why vaccines are important for our bodies).  I was so worried about Ethan because I know he’s scared of needles.  I asked Ruther to help me hold him down and I thought, “This is it”.  But after he got the shot and we all cheered, all he did was look up and say, “Huh?” I was so wrong.  I was really proud of him that night.  He even said “Thank you!” to the doctor!  My boy is so sweet.  For his reward, he got a band-aid (he LOVES band-aids and used up boxes of those once). Now that it’s over, I am only sorry that I was too worried over Ethan’s reaction to the shot that I forgot to take photos!

SAD BUT GLAD

My parents and brother left last Saturday for Canada to be with my sister.  I'll be the only one in the family who's not with them and that makes me sad because I miss them all so much.  But, at the same time, I'm glad for my mom and dad that they are with my sis because they need this vacation badly.

A few months ago, my dad had a gall bladder operation and my mom had to take care of him by herself.  She told me that while they were in the hospital and my dad was in the ICU, she experienced tremendous pain in her belly.  She then asked to be checked and was told she'd need to accomplish forms and payment before being administered to and be given medicine.  She narrated how she had to go from one place to another while the pain in her belly increased.  She said she wanted to faint at one point.  Good thing she met her friend who was a nurse and when she saw mom, she said she'd accomplish the forms and told mom to sit. I felt so bad when I heard her story.  I thought, I should be doing these things for her, after all the things she did for me and my siblings when we were little.  I wish that they didn't have to live so far away.  I wish that they were living in Manila with us and that we could see them frequently.  I just feel so bad that my parents are growing old and we only have snatches of bonding moments. I wish I had the money to give them what they wanted and to let them live the way they should.

My sister is in Canada.  She's planning to work and live there.  I hope that pushes through because if -eventually- my family and my mom, dad, and brother could all be there, it would be so wonderful.  Actually, that's what I want for my boys. I want them to live in a country with many opportunities, with many chances of experiencing the world.  Living in Japan for a time has taught us many things about life and living. It just changes your whole perspective when you immerse yourself in a different country and culture.

So yeah, I hope that in the near future, it will be our turn to go to Canada and hopefully, it won't just be a visit.

DAD AND MOM

My mom and dad are here!! They arrived this morning and I spent Tuesday and the whole of yesterday with them. It’s also a great bonding opportunity for my boys. Been so busy trying to keep up with the shopping, going places and spending time with them that I don’t have time to blog – yet.  Sacrifices have to be made. 

…..

While my mom was at an optical shop last Tuesday, geting new contacts for herself, my dad and I were having a conversation.  He asked me why I wasn’t wearing contacts now when I used to before.  I told him I had excessive dryness when I wore my contacts and it would irritate my eyes and sometimes turn them red, so I completely stopped wearing them and started wearing glasses.  He then asked me how much LASIK cost as a treatment.  I told him Ruther’s cost around P65,000 and that was back in 2000.  Then I told him that I recently saw a promo for LASIK that cost P29,999 and he said, “Thirty thousand? Okay, I’ll give you the money and you gave your eyes done”.  I was so surprised!  I was like, really?!?!  Goodbye glasses forever?  WOW!!!  I was ecstatic!  Think of the possibilities:  No more kids breaking your glasses accidentally, wearing fashionable sunglasses, snorkeling underwater without squinting and no more looking like I’m 10 years older.  WOW!!!  So exciting!  I showed my parents the promo yesterday and they told me to get it.  This is great!  I’ll be able to have my eyesight back after yeeeeaaarrss of squinting and glasses and contacts.  Woohoo! Makes me wish I could do cartwheels right now.

Thanks Daddy and Mommy! I’m so lucky! Love you guys!! 

INSPIRING

So I went to the Homeschool Conference yesterday.  It was so inspiring.  The speakers were very inspiring, the support was inspiring, the number of people who arrived and attended were inspiring.  I felt so inspired yesterday I think I was glowing.

But seriously, I was very happy with the outcome of the Conference.  Debra Bell was there, by the way, isn’t that amazing?!  I was like, whoa!  This woman could speak in a foreign tongue and I would still be inspired. I only hope to have even a fraction of the success she’s head with homeschooling. Love her talk.  Bo Sanchez, founder of Catholic Filipino Academy, was also one of the speakers.  He moved me to tears because he understood what every homeschooling family goes through.  It was really a validation of everything we’ve experienced over the years.  He’s a very inspiring speaker as well.

After the conference, it made me think on where we are right now as homeschoolers.  It made me reevaluate our purpose in making this choice.  From the moment we left the conference until we got home and got ready for bed, my thoughts have been on our homeschooling.  I will not write them all here because I think the computer will overheat but in summary, these, currently, are the reasons why I want my boys to remain homeschoolers:

For Nikki:

1. To display self-confidence and be willing to take risks.  Nikki has always been a cautious child.  And I mean cautious to a fault.  He’d not want to talk to sales people at the malls because he thinks they would not understand him, or they would talk to him in Tagalog and he’ll not understand them, or he would make a mistake and they would laugh at him.  Yeah, paranoid.

2. To value the quality of work and have good work habits.  Nikki is not a lazy child but it’s not in him to voluntarily clean or fix stuff or do chores.  I want him to be able to do his part and be responsible as a son, a brother and a boy.

3. To show courtesy or consideration. Nikki is not impolite.  It’s just that his cautious and shy behavior makes it seem as though he’s aloof and cold.  He does forget to say “please” and “thank you” but he does not do it with malice.  He’s just very capricious.

4. To build career awareness. It’s never too early to think of the future.  We’re not counting chickens, just trying to visualize where Nikki will be and what he’ll be doing 10 years from now.  I think it’s never too early to dabble in things that interest you so you’d know which one you’re willing to do day in and day out can call it work. 

For Ethan:

1. To have a sense of schedule and routine. Ethan is very flighty and it might be because of his ASD.  I mind it only when it affects his learning.  It’s not easy to coax him sometimes and good thing I have a lot of patience.  We have good days and we have bad days.  I accept that and I know that will always be a part of our homeschooling.  I just want us to have some structure so that we could have a routine that would be helpful for Ethan and that would keep me sane some days.

2. To be able to converse.  Ethan still has a hard time conversing with us.  He usually talk to us because he wants to say something but when we try to make him talk to us like in a conversation, he loses focus and just says what he wants to say regardless of the topic or person talking to.  We hope that, when he’s ready, he’ll be able to talk to us like in a conversation.

3. To build study skills. As an ASD child, Ethan has a lot of catching up to do in terms of lessons and academics.  We’re enrolling him in a school this year and so we hope that he would be more open to the lessons and activities.  Otherwise, I’m screwed. 

For Enzo:

1. To develop a love of learning at his early age.  ’Nuf said.

For now, this will be my focus.  I know other homeschooling families have bigger – much bigger – goals than this, but the good thing about homeschooling is that not every recipe is the same.  You have to find the one that works for you and if it does, good for you.  If it doesn’t, you can always try again.  Another good thing about homeschooling?  There are no failures.

SWEENEY TODD

Just watched Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street starring Johnny Depp (LOVE him!) and now I'm feeling bad!  Not only was the story gory, it had a really sad ending.  And I wasn't expecting that at all!  Drat!   I did love the singing and the first part of the story.  I think Jayne Wisener has a really lovely voice.  Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter weren't too bad either.  Director Tim Burton described it as macabre.  I guess he was right.  It was just an eerie, scary, gory, sad movie.  Not for everyone I suppose but if you appreciate musicals, you just might like this.

.....

We're off to a fun day at my brother-in-law's workplace for a visit.  It's a Kids @ Work thing and the boys are excited.  Well, I'm excited.  I hope the boys have fun with the activities.  I'll be bringing along a helper because I can't very well handle 3 boys on my own, can I?  Well, I can but I'll be stressed to no end.  So I want to NOT be that tomorrow.  Anyway, here's hoping for a very entertaining, fun-filled day!

TAKING A TRIP

My mom will be leaving for Canada at the end of the month to visit my sister in Toronto. With my dad and brother. I am SO jealous!! I wish I could tag along. But I can't because 1. I don't have the funds, 2. I don't have the funds, and 3. I can't leave my family without me!  As much as I know they will have a lot of fun there and I really wish I could see my sis in Canada, I know I . Oh well...

My sister has some requests for me to do and buy before my mom leaves.  I hope that can do/get them all before the departure.  One of those requests is having to renew her professional license.  That won't be a problem since I plan on going to PRC to renew my license as well.  After checking the PRC website, I was relieved to know that all I simply need is a letter of authorization from my sister to claim her new license.  Thank goodness.

I've already started buying the pasalubong (presents) for my relatives.  It's now a box full.  I hope my mom won't mind. I did tell her about my intention in getting presents for family in Canada and she said it was okay. So I hope it is.

I wish I could see Canada. I wish I could go places with my family the way we did when we were little.  After I got married I haven't been to a family vacation out of the country.  My mom, sis and dad went to China once.  And my brother went with them to HongKong I think.  Sigh.  Wish I was with them during those times to have some wonderful bonding memories.

Anyway, I still hope that visiting Canada will be in our plans in the future.  I hope to be able to let my boys study there and eventually live there when they are older.  If it means working my butt off to get them there, then so be it.

SUMMER

Summer is actually halfway over by now.  In case you wanted to know, it has been HOT, it has been crazy and it doesn't seem like the weather's going to change anytime soon.  So yeah, the humans are suffering on this side of the planet.

Nikki didn't want to have any summer classes this year.  Can't blame him.  After all the hard work he did at school, he deserves a much-needed break.  But that doesn't mean he's idle in the house.  He's still doing his homeschooling lessons and we do other activities from time to time.  Ethan is improving a lot lesson-wise as well.  He doesn't need much prompting in answering his workbooks but of course, he still has those moments when he's not in the mood and refuses to listen to me.  But I don't mind.  As long as he's interested in learning, that's what's most important.  Enzo has impetigo now.  Sigh.  My poor boy. He's itching all over and the rashes/tiny pustules look hideous!! :(  I hope it will go away soon.  He's to take antibiotics and needs ointment for the rashes.  And I meant to have his photo taken for my sister!  Oh well, I guess I have to postpone that...

.....

Summer has been so hot.  I believe the hottest yet.  Can't blame the planet.  It is after all, our doing.  Who else can we blame?  So until we can control our irresponsible ways, there's no hope in having less sweltering summers in the future.

.....

I've been feeling so restless.  Do I work, do I not work?  How does one decide on these things?  It drives me bonkers having to think of what to do or what not to do.  Sometimes I feel I need to do it.  But then again, I know my boys need me more.  Ruther doesn't have the patience to deal with too many parenting issues.  I feel that I have to do my part as a parent well to make up for his -shall we say- lack of parenting expertise when it comes to the boys.  I know he does his best but sometimes he doesn't realize that his way is not always the right way.  So now, I feel that if I work, how will I find the time and energy to be there for them?  Will I be able to handle the pressure/s?  Will I be able to do my job well as a mother, wife and career woman?  Another thing, what work will I look for? I can't very well go back to doing what my degree dictates.  It's been ages and I don't think anyone would accept me.  I would like to be an English teacher.  But I don's have the degree and license for that.  I would like to teach English to foreigners but the pay here is really bad.  Wouldn't mind doing that in Japan though. Anyway, I guess bottom line is, I need to find out what I want to do with my life before it's too late.

CAN'T DECIDE

For the nth time, I am having second thoughts about Nikki's education.

Yes, he learned so much when he was in regular school this past school year but at the same time, I feel frustrated at the pace they've been going at and the limitations of the school. Sure, I appreciate his lessons in Filipino and Makabayan and I know that it was indeed, time for him to learn all those. But I also know that learning those would have been accessible to him here at home since I already have Filipino and Makabayan books for him that I purchased a long time ago. I also know that his friendship with his classmates has let him appreciate camaraderie and company, but I know that homeschooling doesn't limit him in making friends (though not as close). I appreciate the artwork they do in school but it's such a far cry from the art lessons he has done while homeschooled. There's so much more to consider, so many other things to weigh, I feel as though I'm caught in a tug-of-war and I don't know which way to go.

On one side, being in school will teach Nikki independence, how to relate to people, self-confidence and discipline. On the other side, being homeschooled will simply open his doors to so many learning opportunities I can't enumerate them here for fear of boring you. I suppose we could still do blended schooling so he could have the best of both worlds, but I just fear it's simply too much for him to handle and that he'll have a burn out. And I would absolutely hate myself.

Sigh.

What to do? I asked Nikki what he wanted and he too, felt divided. In terms of lessons, he wants to be homeschooled. But at the same time, he admitted to me that he WILL miss his friends. So I have absolutely no idea what to do. I have 2 months to think of what Nikki's next step in education will be and I just feel so confused. I don't know what to do.

Nikki will be taking a placement test in June (PEPT) to determine his grade level. This test is given once a year to out-of-school youths and homeschoolers. I'm not worried about Science, English and Math but Filipino and Makabayan are another story. So I told Nikki we'll have to review until June so he'll be ready for the exam. I just hope that he'll do well. We've started reviewing and so far, we've been doing easy lessons. Next month, we'll have to step it up and I hope Nikki can cope. I don't want him to think that all our homeschooling lessons were for naught. And I don't want my husband to think that I didn't teach my boys anything! So yes, it's going to be a very busy summer for us.

Wish us luck!

A BIRTHDAY

It's Ruther's birthday today. He's now 37 years old. I can't believe that we're approaching the big 4-0. S c a r y... (Or is it?)

We didn't have a grand celebration as usual. We always prefer to celebrate by ourselves and to have our own little thing as a family. Anyway, I got Ruther a cake and a couple of presents. I know that's not enough to repay him for all he's done for the family but I hope that he appreciates the thought nonetheless. The boys made some homemade cards for him which Ruther promptly took photos of and posted on Facebook. If that's not a proud dad, I don't know what is. :D

For dinner, we had yang chow fried rice, braised beef brisket, lechon manok (roasted chicken), pork siomai, yummy ripe mangoes and chocolate cake for dessert. The boys had fried chicken. This Saturday, we're going to continue the birthday celebration by watching a fireworks show.

Can't wait.

Happy Birthday Sweetie! I love you lots!

.....

My cough is slowly (and I mean slowly) starting to go away. What's irritating though is that the itchiness in my throat won't go away still. Argh! I've tried honey, salabat (ginger tea - which was I'm sorry to say, ugh!), calamansi juice, Strepsils, lots of water, menthol candies, cough syrup and still, the itchiness stays. Grrr. So annoying. Anyway, I hope I'll be 100% better in the next few weeks.

.....

Did you hear about the earthquake in the Visayas region of the Philippines? That was intense! I know it's nothing like the earthquake that hit Japan but the damage is terrible! I suppose we're not as earthquake-ready as Japan (duh!) so I hope the government will wake up and take notice. And HELP.

I've been saying time and again that we should be more conscious of our environment. Years of destruction and pollution are now taking its toll on our dying planet. Mother Nature is speaking in volumes and we darn well better listen!