NOODLES

colorful...

BY MYSELF

I haven't been in a blogging mood lately. I know exactly why but of course, I'm not writing that down here because it's too personal. Let's just say that I have a LOT on my mind these days. Good or bad, I have yet to see where things will lead to in the future. Right now I'm not really concerned about how things'll turn out. I'm just here to wait and see.

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I think it's nice to sometimes just spend some time alone. Just me and my thoughts and no one else around. Sometimes I think I could survive in an empty beach resort with just me, the beach, a ton of books and of course some pen and paper. No techie stuff at all. Yup, I could do that. Without a care at all. It'll be a retreat from all the weird stuff happening around me and the world. A sort of vacation for myself. Unfortunately, I can only have my vacation in my head. But that doesn't mean the places I go to aren't as lovely as I imagine them to be. Maybe one day I'll find that place especially made for me.

SAD DAY

I was so sad to hear about Michael Jackson's death. I know probably a million people out there will be blogging about this but I just can't help but feel terrible about the news. He's been a great music icon, probably misunderstood most of the time and criticized terribly for deeds he's done but no one can deny that he's transformed music in his own way. And despite all the negative publicity that surrounded him, he really was the "King of Pop".

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And then Farrah Fawcett was also in the news. This is turning out to be a sad sad day for fans. I know she was a great fashion icon. I didn't know about the cancer though. I wish the television networks would bring back the original Charlie's Angels tv series so I could watch it.

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Been thinking about a lot of things today. That pretty much kept me preoccupied. Hopefully 5-10 years from now, I'll be able to say definitely that everything's A-OK in my life.

We'll see.

GETTING RID OF DOG FLEAS

I don't have a pet but my in-laws have a dog. His name is Chow-chow and nope, he's not of the Chow breed. We just called him that because he liked to chow down his food when he was little. Anyway, we do have a lot of dogs in Zamboanga and I'm quite fond of the canine family. What I'm not fond of however, are the parasites that these dogs bring. I am quite allergic to insect bites so I have to make sure that I don't get bitten by dog fleas. Thankfully though, we haven't had a flea infestation at home so that's good. But that doesn't mean Chow-chow does not have fleas. In fact, he's been having some flea and tick problems which isn't a pretty sight. His shampoo doesn't seem to help much either but I encountered this site which tackles flea problems in pets. The article says that fleas could give your dog anemia, tapeworms and dermatitis. Ewww. Also, aside from giving regular baths and using flea shampoos, it says that treating the places where the dog hangs out often is important as well. I didn't know that. They suggested using moth crystals to keep those pesky fleas from infesting the home so I think we're going to do that. I really wouldn't want the boys to get flea bites. So I hope Chow-chow is ready for his bath tomorrow...

PAINFUL

Sometimes I wish some things never occurred in my life. I'm only human. I'm not one to admit I have the perfect life. I also know that I am someone so easily affected by things that come my way, especially things that affect me emotionally. I have never been a strong person. Of course, I hardly ever show my vulnerability to other people but when I am alone I sometimes feel so overwhelmed with emotions and I feel as though I am alone in the world. Yes, I know. I'm a crybaby. That's who I am. I'm the type of person who cries during touching commercials, while watching sad movies, while listening to sentimental music, while reading romantic stories, while watching really expressive dancing or even watching my loved ones sleep. I cry. And I get hurt. And I don't know why it's hard for me to let go of things that weigh so heavily in my heart but it's just so hard. It's like there's this thorn lodged deep inside my heart that there's no way of removing it without dying. That's how I feel. And the only respite I get from the pain is when I'm asleep because when I'm awake, it's like a fresh wound everyday. And I have no idea how to escape from it. Sometimes I look outside the window and wonder about life in general and the answer is lost in the chasm of uncertainty that hounds my future. Sometimes I wonder about my purpose. I used to think that I somehow figured that one out but of course, life throws you a curve ball. And along with the surprise comes hurt and a lotta pain. And I don't know what to do and I don't know how to get rid of this pain. I try to be strong for my family. I know I need emotional support (a whole LOT of it right now) because I know I'm prone to depressive moods and who knows when I'm going to snap out of it. But it's really really hard. I sometimes just hear a word and then shooting pain rips my heart in two. I hear a title of a song and I recall the painful things almost instantaneously. There's just no stopping it. I'm just really helpless when it comes to my emotions. I have tremendous love for the world. But I also feel tremendous pain when things take a wrong turn. I can't say "life sucks" because I know that that's how life is. I just want to know "Why"?

ZONE FOCUSING

I've had my D50 for less than a year and I still have a lot of learning to do. Now that I'm in Manila I hardly ever have time to go out and take photographs which is why I try to find things around the house to practice my shots on (still photography). I've been meaning to take a stroll around the neighborhood and just photograph whatever comes my way but unfortunately, it's been raining for the past days and I never got the chance. So maybe one of these days I'll be able to find the time and opportunity. Anyway, despite having my cam for several months now, I have yet to master all those photographic terms such as f-stop, ISO, shutter lag, depth of field, etc. It's not easy to remember such things especially since I'm not very technical. But as always, I find that constant practice, research and study help me to remember what to do at certain situations. Well, sometimes anyway. I try to read and find helpful photography tips from time to time and I found this article on zone focusing very helpful. My constant frustration when taking photos is blurriness. My hands are a bit shaky and without a tripod it is difficult getting sharp photos especially in low light. The article says to use a fast shutter speed and to pick the smallest f-stop to maximize depth of field. Frankly, when I take photos, I just point and shoot and then check the LCD and then tweak my settings accordingly. I'm not savvy in manipulating the settings yet but hopefully with tips like this I'll figure it out eventually. Anyway, the article further says that using this type of zone focusing is great for taking photos of crowds of people (like get-togethers). I would want to practice doing that but I'll have to go to either Makati or somewhere really crowded to try that out and I'm not very comfortable going around public places here in the Philippines with a DSLR in tow. Maybe I could do that in Japan because I feel a lot safer lugging my camera around there. Here, not too much. It's just risky especially since I'm female and I'm not very aggressive. So maybe I'll try the zone focusing next time. But for now, I'm quite happy with all the tips I'm getting and learning. I even have my tiny notebook to bring with me at all times where I could check and verify my settings and such. It's quite handy. Hopefully I'll be able to find more helpful tips online.

WRONG AGAIN

I was told yesterday by people here at home to prepare candles for a possible blackout that might happen sometime in the middle of the night. They watched the early evening news and according to PAGASA (the weather bureau), the storm that is currently in the Philippines might become stronger at around 9pm onwards. I said, "PAGASA has never been accurate in their predictions and I don't think it's going to change tonight." And I was right. As always, the only accurate prediction about PAGASA is their wrong prediction on the weather. Duh.

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I've been searching for DS games for the boys these past days. Since Ethan loves to play DS games, I thought of adding some more educational games to their game unit. Ethan learned the hiragana and katakana just by playing Anpanman. I have that game in my DS with the hope of learning nihongo myself. Anyway, I found some nice ones like Crazy Machines (physics-like with levers and ramps and strategically maneuvering those to make a course), Music (all about music: compositions, notes, etc.), My Japanese Coach (yup, teaches Nihongo) and a few other games. I hope to add more thinking and learning games soon. I just have a difficult time searching for games and then reviewing them and then testing them out. But then again, the rewards are so great so I guess it's all right. :)

RAINY DAY

see the ant?

OUT OF FOCUS

I know I haven't blogged for quite a while. It's well, because of several reasons which I know would be too boring to share so let's just say some things got out of hand and I just had a short vacation from blogging. I just hope everyone's doing well out there...

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It's been somewhat depressing watching the news every night. I do try to keep myself updated with the latest happenings but sometimes the news can really get to me. It's really very depressing to watch all negative news day in and out. It puts this blanket of doom around me and I hate it. So sometimes I watch the news and sometimes I don't. But I wish that in the future, there would be more good news than bad for a change.

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I can't seem to focus on anything specific right now. When I had my Child Psych course, I managed to stay on track for several months. When I needed to learn how to use my D50, I read the field guide from cover to cover and even took notes. When I felt like brushing up on my Nihongo I would be able to organize a study area and just learn new words quickly day after day. But these days, I feel like I'm in a slump. I just can't push my mind to do anything. I tried reading a book but I just didn't feel like it. I tried reviewing my Nihongo but without focus, I end up reading the same word 6 times just so I could remember it. I tried to do some other things but in the end, I just don't have the drive, the energy, the will. The only good thing is that I still manage to homeschool the boys everyday and still try to come up with learning activities for them. Hopefully, that will do for now.

CRAZY WORLD

What is happening to the world these days? First, there's the H1N1 virus, then the really stupid constituent assembly in the Philippines, then recently, the really chaotic elections in Iran (which I sincerely hope wouldn't happen here) and now, it's the threat of nuclear war from North Korea!! I mean, seriously, what is happening to the world?!?! Shouldn't we all be more concerned about more important things? Like poverty and the environment and PEACE? Why again this thirst for power and greed and selfishness? I mean, didn't history already teach us enough? My goodness! What kind of world are we creating for our children?

Enough already you power-hungry @$*^@^%$#*!!!!

Grrr...

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Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have another kid. Okay, fine. Another baby. I mean, my boys are already preschoolers and I really do miss taking care of a baby. But then again, I know my limits. I know that 2 is the maximum number of kids I could devote my whole time and attention to without going crazy. Don't ask me how I know that, I just do. I think it would be wonderful to have lots of kids but I like being a hands-on mom. And the only way I could be an EFFECTIVE hands-on mom is to be able to have and give enough quality time and love and understanding to the kids. So I suppose I'll just have to get used to the fact that maybe Ruther and I won't get to have another baby. I guess I'll just have to wait for my sis to make one soon. But knowing her, good luck with that. :P

ETHAN'S PHOTO

Our little boy is now 6 years old. We love you Ethan! :)

ON PAIN

“Why love if losing hurts so much? I have no answers anymore; only the life I have lived. The pain now is part of the happiness then.”

-Anthony Hopkins

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ETHAN!

It’s Ethan’s birthday today. Our boy is now 6 years old!

We didn’t have a party planned for him. My boys don’t mind the fanfare too much. As long as they have fun on their special day, they are happy. Besides, it wouldn’t be a real celebration without Ethan’s dad around.

Anyway, we spent the day at SM Mall of Asia. I decided to bring the boys to Kids Republic, a sort of play gym for kids. It’s like a huge indoor obstacle course and I was sure the boys would love it there. And I was right. They played for 2 1/2 hours while my siblings, my brothers-in-law and I went around the mall. While they were at Kids Republic, we bought Ethan’s presents and other necessary stuff. Then I just bought some spaghetti for dinner and we got Ethan’s cake at SM Sucat. When we got home, we took photos of Ethan with his cake and presents. We had the spaghetti and barbeque for dinner and we had some of Ethan’s yummy cake and ice cream too. After eating, we talked to Ruther through videochat and he greeted his boy a happy birthday. I told Ruther all about our day and he was glad that Ethan had fun. Hopefully next year, we will be celebrating Ethan’s 7th birthday together.

NEW CASES

I watched the news tonight and new cases of the A(H1N1) virus still keep coming up. So the Philippines now has 77 confirmed cases which means we have the highest number of cases in Southeast Asia. Although the Department of Health has reported that 23 of the 77 has recovered, it's still alarming that new cases keep cropping up daily. There are now 6 schools/universities affected by the virus and classes in those schools have been cancelled until the 22nd of June. Now, not only is this virus affecting the health of people, it's also affecting the education of students. It's really sad... I just hope that this virus stops spreading or that scientists finally find a vaccine for it.

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I am saying NO to charter change! I am saying NO to this constituent assembly! No more Gloria in 2010! Enough is enough!

SOROBAN

Just wanted to take a photo of Nikki's soroban. :)

HATE TO WAIT

I feel like I'm in limbo. All this waiting is driving me nuts!

Last May I was pretty busy with the planning and the things to do in preparation for our application for the certificate of eligibility (which we will need for our visa application). Now, all I'm doing is just waiting and I could literally feel each tick of the clock just passing by. It's really disconcerting when I've had so many things to do before and now I'm just waiting idly by. Well, not really idle but you know what I mean. Anyway, I still have homeschooling to keep me preoccupied and I've been trying to learn more Nihongo (wish me luck) so hopefully the wait won't take long.

I hope.

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It's Ethan's birthday on Friday!! I'm soooo excited! There'll be no parties, no celebrations but I'm still excited because my boy is turning 6!! Oh my goodness! I can't believe I have 2 boys already!! Golly! Anyway, we're going to have a fun day at the Mall of Asia. (I hope.) I'll be getting Ethan's presents then and maybe lunch out with family. We'll just have some cake and ice cream at home afterwards. Of course, we'll be taking photos as well. I'm really excited! Hopefully it'll be a really fun and happy day. :)

RAIN OR SHINE?

For the first time in three days the sun finally came out. I was expecting a rainy weekend but when I woke up this morning, it was bright and sunny. Although it is sunny right now, I'm sure we will be having rains again because June to August is when typhoons come into the country. Hopefully, there won't be devastating storms.

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I watched the news the other day and I felt really bad for the kids who had to go to school when it was rainy. I mean, the chances of them getting sick was high and at the same time, I'm quite sure those poor families don't have the money to buy medicine should that happen. While I was watching that I somehow felt glad that Nikki and Ethan are homeschooled. I mean, we won't have to go through all those problems. Rain or shine, we could do our lessons safe at home. If ever we planned an outing, we could always postpone it for another day and know that we could always do that some other time. Also, we don't have to worry about getting sick and missing school because even if they do get sick, they still could read books or do simple activities at home. So yeah, I think this is another plus in our homeschooling decision.

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Also in the news, some moms were complaining about the announcements coming from the Department of Education about the suspension of classes because of the rains. They were saying that either the announcements were too late and their kids were already in school, or that they were confusing because during suspended days, there would be no rains at all. I perfectly understand their irritation. When I was in college, that happened often. Sometimes my classmates and I would not know whether to go to school or not because we weren't sure about the announcements. One time, it was reported that there would be suspension of classes but it was a sunny day so my friends and I went to the mall instead. Sigh. If only the weather bureau here in the Philippines were as reliable as the one in Japan. Ruther and I would check the weather everyday and if it usually says "rainy" we're sure to bring an umbrella. Sigh. Anyway, I just hope that PAGASA (the weather bureau here) would do a better job in predicting the weather. Otherwise a crystal ball would be a better option for us.

RECYCLING CANS

We did this recycling activity last week. I saw this in a magazine and I thought it was a neat idea. We segregate cans and plastic bottles here at home and I thought it would be a cool and creative activity for Nikki. He’s not usually very creative so I thought making robot faces would be fun.

Anyway, I didn’t have to spend for anything for this activity. We just went around the house and got anything we thought would look nice on the cans. Nikki picked the face parts and I glued them on the cans using a glue gun. It’s a bit messy but we still had a good time. After doing them, I of course took photos. I’m glad we found something fun to do.

More fun activities later!

QUALITY LIGHTING FOR PHOTOGRAPHY

After our recent family trip to Subic last month I have to admit that I stopped reading about photography tips because I got so busy. But that doesn't mean I am no longer interested in photography. On the contrary, I want to take even more photos but I have to say there's a limit to the things I could take photos of here at home. There are my boys, of course, but I have yet to read more on photographing kids (or photographing active kids or kids on the go) because most of my shots of them are blurred in low lighting or indoors. But when I use the built-in flash of my Nikon D50, the photo looks too washed out and I really don't like it. Anyway, I tried photographing still life instead and I got a few nice shots but most of them were unfortunately, too dark. Of course, the great thing about digital photography is that I could take lots of photos and "correct" my mistakes so in the end, I manage to get some good-enough photos. But still, it doesn't mean that I'm happy when I take 8 shots and end up with only 2 good ones. I want to be more confident with my photography. And I chanced upon this article Finding Quality Light and it was a really insightful read. I already read (previously) about the best times to take photos and how to make use of the aperture, exposure and ISO settings but the article gives some very handy tips on how to manage difficult lighting conditions. I really want to try using filters because I've seen some really wonderful filtered photos, especially photos shot with graduated neutral density filters and polarizing filters. They looked really vibrant, sharp and so professional-looking. I also have been interested in using diffusers especially with my built-in flash. I definitely cannot afford a Nikon Speedlight but a diffuser is within my budget. I'm planning on getting one this month. So I might try that to soften my indoor shots. I actually can't wait to try that out. I suppose the best way to learn photography is really to just practice and take lots and lots of pictures. But I must say that reading and researching and finding handy tips are a really big help.

DIY LAVA LAMP FOR THE BOYS

Last week, the boys and I did another easy experiment on “separating liquids”. It was a make your own lava lamp activity. We already did a water-and-oil experiment previously so it was good introduction for this lesson. All we needed were:

1. a clear plastic bottle

2. water

3. oil

4. food coloring (but we used dye instead)

We first filled the bottle with water. We left 1/6 free for the oil. We put in a bit of the dye to color the water then we shook the bottle to mix it. We then poured some used oil (no use wasting good oil!) into the bottle and voila! Instant lava lamp. Now, this homemade version is a far cry from the real lava lamp but it’s still a fun activity. If you want the oil to go up more slowly, you might have to use a more viscous solution to substitute water. But even if the oil jumped to the top of the bottle so fast, the boys still enjoyed the activity. Nikki just twisted and turned the bottle for ages. There was a time when some of the oil was stuck to the top and bottom sides of the bottle and Nikki loved looking at the blobs of oil float to the top. Anyway, it was another fun activity but in addition to that, we recycled! So, mission accomplished!

SAVEBUCKETS

Are you one of the millions of people addicted to gizmos and gadgets? Are you up-to-date with the latest technological trends? Do you always check out online sites for cool products that you could use everyday? Well, if you are all these and more, why not check out savebuckets.co.uk? Here, you'll not only find the widest selection of totally hot products, but you'll find the best and affordable prices ever. Just think, all these cool and latest gadgets at the tip of your fingers. Check out their featured products, from iPhones to Wii Games and even LCD tvs. If you have no idea where to begin looking, start at their current best sellers. You'll surely find something great for yourself or for someone in your family. You could search by category too. There are limitless products to choose from: baby products, food and drinks, health products, DVDs, books, cosmetics, body products, products for home and office and even tickets and yup, flowers! But if you live and breathe the internet, if you are online for 10 hours or more per day, if you love blogging (like me), if you are addicted to your Facebook, or if you keep in touch with your family and friends through cyberspace, then you my friend, need a laptop or a netbook. And why not? Savebuckets has the best models with the latest features at really affordable prices. All you have to do is to simply pick the perfect gadget that suits your personality, lifestyle and budget. The diligent student might love the portable yet affordable laptops for school use. Busy entrepreneurs will find the netbooks very handy. And what about music lovers and gamers? Yup, they could engage in their hobbies on the go, no longer encumbered by the bulky desktop computers. Convenient, right? Well, Savebuckets makes it a whole lot easier for you to purchase their products with their price comparison. You could even sort them out by name, popularity or price. Now, you are sure to get the most out of your money. So why bother spending for a bulky desktop computer when you can have everything you need and do anything you want to do with the latest laptop or notebook or netbook? So, try it out. Check out savebuckets.co.uk, lose yourself in the millions of products they have and just enjoy shopping!

SAD NEWS

I am feeling very sad for a close friend of mine. She has been my friend from grade school til high school and we've managed to keep in touch through all these years. Anyway, I learned yesterday that her husband died. He was shot while in the car and he did not survive his wounds. I was so shocked to hear about this. I mean, I never (in a million years) thought that this could happen to a close friend of mine. But I was even more shocked to find out that he was shot while 2 of his kids were in the backseat of the car!! My goodness! I wouldn't know what I would do if this happened to me. I so wanted to talk to my friend but I didn't want to impose. This is the first time this has happened to me (within my circle of friends) and I didn't know how to talk to her. So I messaged her and just expressed my regrets and of course, my support that no matter what, I'll be here for her always. I also called my mom (her mom and my mom are friends because of our years of schooling together) and asked her to send a wreath from us. Last night, I was not able to sleep properly because I was too bothered about my friend's plight. Even Ruther noticed that I was down. But I just can't help it. My mom messaged me a few hours ago saying she went to the wake and she said my friend was holding up quite well. Although I was glad to hear that, I still can't help feeling worried. I hope that my friend will get over this crisis quickly and heal soon. She is one of the kindest, sweetest people I know and she deserves to have a happy life.

TRAMPOLINE FOR THE KIDS

I’ve been thinking of getting a trampoline for the boys some years ago but after reading some (scary) stories and warnings about getting a trampoline for small kids (minor injuries, serious injuries, even death), I decided against it. But this year, I thought that it would be a nice present for Ethan for his birthday since he is such an active child and he runs out of things to do around the house sometimes. Today we went to the mall and we got a mini trampoline. Ethan’s birthday is on the 12th yet but I wanted to get it because when my in-laws arrive from the US on the 5th it might be hard to borrow the van to bring the trampoline home. So, we got one mini-trampoline today and the boys were so excited. Nikki loved it and is calling the trampoline his own. But still, even if I decided to get the trampoline, I’m definitely not going to leave the boys on it. When we got home, Nikki and I reviewed some safety tips. (Ethan wouldn’t understand immediately but if he watches Nikki, he’ll follow by example.)

RULES:

- only one person on the trampoline at a time

- no jumping onto the trampoline

- only jump when Mommy or an adult is around

- the trampoline should be away from furniture, breakable objects, etc.

- always jump in the center of the trampoline mat

- absolutely NO cartwheels, flips or somersaults

And now for the good stuff. Trampolining is great exercise for kids. Here are some of the benefits of this type of exercise:

1. The aerobics associated with jumping on a fitness trampoline strengthens the heart in the same way as other cardio exercises like running and jumping rope. This increase in cardio rate encourages energy use and weight loss.

2. Trampoline exercise tones muscles in the lower half of the body. The legs, thighs, hips, stomach, and abdomen are all used when exercising on a fitness trampoline.

3. Trampoline jumping improves coordination many athletes and gymnasts use trampolines for this reason. Jumping on a trampoline isn’t just about bounding up and down. There is some level of skill involved in reaching a good height and landing in the right way.

4. A small trampoline, or rebound trampoline, is ideal for those who have knee injuries. Since smaller trampolines are not designed for high jumping, there is less pressure on the joints during exercise. Other benefits of a fitness trampoline include improvements in breathing through increased capacity of lungs, reduction in stress and tension, lowers cholesterol levels, and increases energy levels. A fitness trampoline is a good way to get exercise for people who have joint issues that keep them from jogging and running.

(from http://www.familyrapp.com/Results/archive_results_details.asp?ArticleID=1079)

I am quite excited for the boys to exercise on the trampoline. I’m checking out some exercise tips on the ‘net and hopefully I’ll find some great ones. Be posting photos soon!

WITH HIS GLASSES

Here's Nikki with his glasses. He looks like a big boy, doesn't he?

A TRAMPOLINE FOR ETHAN

Now that classes are going to begin nationwide, it's happy days for us again. This means, no more crowded malls and establishments during weekdays. It'll be nice to once more go out and not worry about crowds and bullies and long queues. It may sound selfish but I don't mean to be so. It's just that we've really come to appreciate our homeschool lifestyle and the convenience it brings us. We like to go to museums and even if we can't get a discount rate (which is usually for big groups), we like spending as much time as we can on our own, checking out the exhibits and such without worries about getting left behind by the group or being distracted by a schoolmate or not paying attention to the teacher. With homeschooling, we could learn as much as we could and with few distractions. Even when we're at the supermarket, a harried mother wouldn't think twice about teaching her kids about the different fruits and vegetables. But as a homeschooling mom, I automatically think of grocery-shopping as an opportunity to learn. So yeah, it'll be nice to have less crowded malls once school begins. It's gonna be great!

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I'm thinking of getting Ethan a trampoline for his birthday. I've been wanting to get him one some years ago but it's only now that I feel he's ready to have one. Of course, I'm still planning to do all the necessary safety precautions like putting a netting around the trampoline to prevent falls. I know I'm going to have to keep a close eye on Ethan and Nikki once they get on the trampoline but I'm sure that this is the right present for him. Ethan has always been an active child. And although I would love for them to play outdoors as often as they'd like, well, it's not really safe to do that here in the Philippines. Aside from worrying about strangers, the neighborhood kids are too rowdy and I don't want the boys to follow their bad habits. So a trampoline would be great for them to get their exercise and to keep Ethan stimulated should he need a bit of (wild) fun. I already asked Russ to drive us to SM Sucat tomorrow so I could get one as an early birthday present. I'm planning to have it assembled so all I would be left to do is take it home and affix the netting around it (if I find one at the mall, that is). Hopefully, the boys would be patient enough to wait until the netting is up before taking turns on the trampoline.

We'll see...