THE PAST DAYS...

It's been a somewhat busy week. Last Friday, Nikki had science experiments with his homeschool class and there were just too many (seven!) it was exhausting by the time we were done. It was kind of fun too, but it was difficult to cram 7 experiments in 3 hours. Hopefully next time, we'd have fewer experiments and more time to appreciate the lessons.

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I've been trying to come up with ideas for the baby's baptism. I know it's too early but I just want to be prepared. I'm thinking of the candles for the ceremony, the baby's clothes, the baby favors, the venue and our budget. With Ruther back in the Philippines we can't afford to overspend because the money coming in is not as much as when he's out of the country. So we might have to to tighten our belts this next few months.

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Speaking of money, I'm more and more inclined to finding work in the next few months after the baby is born. I would so love to work in Japan (if I'm lucky enough to be sponsored) but at the same time, I'm having qualms about leaving the boys. It'll be tough and I know I could handle it (with much crying and heartache of course) but can they? That's what worries me to no end. But as early as now, I'm trying to apply already. Am hoping to get some good replies later...

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Ruther has been feeling kind of low these past days. There has been some coughing and sneezing at his office and I think he's getting it too. Been making him take Vitamin C and juices and so far he hasn't been feverish. Hopefully he won't get sick these next few days...

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The baby kicks and moves around a lot these days my sleep gets disturbed. I sometimes wake up with an urgent need to pee or, a slight pain in my belly because of all the moving and twisting and turning. The baby is soooo active it's a miracle I'm not in labor yet! Sigh...

BABY

Ruther took this cute photo. :D

RAMBLING ON... AND ON...

I have been feeling antsy for the past days and I don't know exactly why.

Maybe it's because I have yet to know the sex of the baby and I feel so apprehensive about it. Maybe it's because I'm nervous as to when the baby will be coming. Maybe it's because I have no idea what's going to happen in the next few months. Maybe it's because I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing anymore in homeschooling the boys. Maybe it's because of so much uncertainty, the unknown future. I just feel like I'm supposed to DO something but I have no idea what. And it's bothering me so much. Which is weird because it seems like I'm just doing this to myself for no reason whatsoever. But I really can't help the worries. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night bothered (but most of the time I wake up because I have to pee so badly) and I can't go back to sleep. It's just wearing me out. Friends say, "Don't worry so much, you'll affect the baby." But it's not like I could help it. Sigh... I just wish I had an idea what's going to happen, you know. Even for the rest of the year. Then I know I could breathe a little easier.

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The baby is SO active! And that's an understatement. Sometimes, it moves around so much I get some pins and needles because I suspect it's impinging on a nerve or something. When I feel the bumps moving around, I gently rub it and it seems to like that more. I don't recall Nikki and Ethan being this active at all. Which worries me again because "they" say that increased activity means it's a boy. But then again, Ruther's cousin in the UK said that her baby is so active too and she's carrying a girl. So, am having these conflicting emotions...

I know... Why am I doing this to myself, right?

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I would SO want to work in Japan. I think it would be great to actually live there with the family. Of course, we would have some difficulties, that's a given, but I'm sure, like any migrating family, we would manage somehow. I surely miss the country and I miss the people. I hope to one day go back there and reconnect with Japan once more...

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I want to get out of here. I know it sounds really nasty or bad or ungrateful but this really isn't our home. I would always feel like we're just visitors here. I would rather we have a place of our own, but first, I want to make sure that we know where we're going to live. I know that's pretty hard to plan out at the moment with the baby coming soon, but I just feel like I don't and can't stay here for another year any longer. I want us to have our own home, our own place, our own house. It doesn't have to be grand or huge or expensive. As long as it's comfy, right for us and adequate, I'll be happy...

BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG

I know. I've disappeared from the face of the earth again. I just had so much on my mind (not in a good way) it's a miracle I didn't develop a split personality (yet). I don't know if it's the hormones, the unknown future or whatever uncertainties I have but I just lost track of my blogging life. Which I miss now.

Anyway, before anything else, I just want to say, I MISSED YOU! Okay... updates.

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I'm still pregnant. And it's weird because I thought I was due in October but apparently I miscalculated and according to the 3 ultrasound tests I had, I'm due sometime September 10 or 11 (first utz said Sept 10, second was Sept 11 and the third Sept 10 - so I guess it's going to be a September baby). This means given a few weeks we'll be seeing our baby. The gender, you ask? Well, we're all wondering about that too. Because the baby's legs were so tightly folded and closed the doctors couldn't tell. Which means, we have to wait a few more days before finding out if we're having a girl (at last!) or a boy (again!). Anyway, other than that, the baby is perfectly fine. Been kicking and moving a lot though and I have to go to the bathroom to pee like every 30 minutes which is pretty bothersome because I'm really not a bathroom person. My tummy is so big too. Can't imagine it being this big before but then again, I may be suffering from "pregnancy amnesia". Here's a photo Ruther took of me a few weeks ago...



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It's been raining a lot these days which is a relief from the heat, definitely. I am loving the cool weather and so glad that the summer is waaay over. Just have to be wary of mosquitoes though. Don't want the boys to have dengue or some sickness. A friend of mine had to have her son confined at a hospital because of dengue. And she said that she never imagined it would happen to them. We just have to be real careful, I suppose.

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I finally finished my TEFL (Teach English as a Foreign Language) course! Yay! That's another reason why I didn't have time to blog. I wanted to accomplish everything without procrastinating and I did it! Now I could rest easy. I've been browsing the 'net for some jobs in Japan for wannabes like me and hopefully, after I give birth I could try that. Who knows, I might get hired. I really wouldn't want to try it here in Manila because the pay is so measly. It's like 1/6 of what I would be getting if I work in Japan. It just would not be worth it being away from the kids and earning so little. Of course, I have to talk this over with Ruther but with the way our finances are heading, I just can't sit around anymore. It's scary and I know it's going to be tough but I guess I gotta do what I gotta do...

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It's so hard picking baby names!! Ruther and I have been picking our brains trying to come up with nice possibilities and it's giving me a headache! We do have ideas but it's pretty hard when we have no idea what the sex of the baby is yet. So we're just trying to pick the best ones and maybe decide once we know for sure. It was a breeze picking Nikki's and Ethan's names!

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I started preparing my hospital bag and the baby's bag too. Ruther has been paranoid about getting things ready. He wasn't with me when I gave birth to Nikki at the hospital (he was in Saudi Arabia then) and when I delivered Ethan, he was with me but we had it at a lying-in clinic. So this will be the first time for him to have the birthing at a hospital and although it's only 7 minutes away, he wants everything ready. I'm hoping that this time around there won't be any problems with the birthing and we'll be able to bring the baby home very soon. Nikki and Ethan had to stay a few days longer at the hospital because Nikki had some blood problems and Ethan had to take antibiotics. Am hoping now, it would be a different story...

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I have decided to try to breastfeed the baby. I was unsuccessful with Nikki and Ethan but now, I want to try it out. I'm saying "try" because I don't want to promise to be successful in this endeavor. I might eat my words later on. Anyway, I have been reading on it and have already learned so much. I have yet to read my second breastfeeding book and hopefully that will be very informative as well. I have some friends who are breastfeeding their kids and are willing to help me and provide me with tips and advice and I know I'm going to need their assistance. So yeah, I'm pretty excited! :D

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It's wonderful having Ruther with me while I'm experiencing this pregnancy. He was not with me at all when I had Nikki and he only experienced the last few weeks of my pregnancy with Ethan because he had a project in Japan then. But this time, it's nice to see him interact with the baby by talking and rubbing my tummy. I guess the baby senses it because it moves around so much when we talk to it or when we rub the bumps on my tummy. So cute. Even Ethan is warming up to it. At first he couldn't care any less (especially when my sis would ask him, "Where's the baby?") but once he started feeling the movement, he became quite interested. So now he rubs and kisses my tummy a lot. Can't wait to see the boys with the newborn in a few weeks' time! :D

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Oh yeah, Ethan turned 7 last June 12 and I am now 34 (my birthday was last July 10). Ruther and I also got to celebrate our 10th year anniversary last June 11. Just some of the celebrations we got to experience recently. :D