Starting to Panic

Yes.

I am finally - and regretfully - at that time when I can no longer say, "to heck with the world, I've got all the time".  No, not this time and I know, turning 37 (gasp!) this year means I have to be more serious about my goals, about life, about how I want my future to be.

I suppose, like all stages in life, acceptance is the first step.  And yes, I accept that I AM getting older.  But what can I do about it?  I can't turn back the clock.  I can't ponder on every mistake I made in the past.  I can't dwell on regret.  I can't very well obsess about every little thing.  I need to focus, to be more positive, to be more organized (believe me, those brain cells are starting to fail me more often than not) and to simply enjoy life.

Now that I feel like the clock is ticking (a little too fast), let me check all the things I've already accomplished so far in my life:

1. Get married.  I know this isn't in everyone's bucket list but I always knew in my heart that I would be a wife.  Dunno how I knew, but I did.  Weird huh.

2. Have a family.  Another thing I knew too was that I was meant to be a mom. I have this nurturing spirit which I think would have been frustrating for me if I didn't have kids.  My boys keep me on my toes.  And I love being challenged as a parent, an educator and a mentor.  Some people tell me that it's just too bad I don't have a daughter but you know, in all honesty, I am quite content with my boys.  They complete me and that's all I need.  Besides, I have a niece I think having a baby girl is covered.  :)

3. Travel.  I've always wanted to travel.  I think my temperament is good for travelling since I have the open-mindedness and patience to understand local and foreign cultures.  I just think that travelling is an education all on its own.  And it's simply amazing.  This one, I have not accomplished fully yet, since I plan to travel years from now.

4. Get an education.  Yeah, did that... moving on...

That's it.  Pretty poor list, isn't it?  Especially since the career section is non-existent. But I'm not an ambitious person.  I mean, I have dreams but I'm not the be-a-world-changer kind of person.  As long as I do my part well in my little corner as a mother, wife, daughter and friend, then I know I did and am doing good.

I've already checked a lot of other things in my bucket list but I think I have to be more serious this year in accomplishing more of them.  Hopefully, I will be able to do them all before my inevitable time runs out.